Jealousy

Hi, I'm new here.

I am newly married and have a wonderful husband. He is also good looking and gets attention from young, pretty women and I feel so threatened by it. He would never cheat on me and I know that, but I feel I am not good enough and he should be with someone beautiful. When I feel jealous I'm out of control and say angry things and think seriously and say that I'm going to kill myself. I calm down and hate myself for my behavior.

My husband is loving and patient with me, but I'm afraid if I don't get a handle on it he is going to leave me, I am going to follow through on killing myself, or I will continue treating him badly. I really have to change and I am so frustrated. I'm in therapy and on medication, but I still haven't been able to make the necessary change.

Anybody had a similar problem and found a way out of it?

Congratulations on your wedding!
The fact that he gets attention from the "younger, pretty" women should have no effect on you. The only thing that should concern you is if he gives them attention back, in a negative way (flirting, anything a married man should not be doing, etc.) And remember! There are strong differences between flirting and just having a cool, casual conversation!

Now listen to me, and listen to me good: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Sound familiar? You ARE beautiful! Beauty isn't just something you can grasp.. it isn't material. Beauty comes from within, and the beholder, who is your husband, in this case, sees the beauty in you as a person, for he loves and cares for you. He felt that you are the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, or he never would have married you! Trust me. Jealous is a cruel and horrible thing to face, and hurts internally (happens to all of us!), but you must simply trust in him, because trust is one of the foundations for a happy marriage. If your husband really and truly loves you (and you know that deep in your heart!), he will never leave you. A real relationship is not loving each other because you're both perfect; it's learning each others' flaws and loving the other for what DOESN'T make them perfect. Loving each other for who you really are! It is natural to become anger. Jealousy makes you feel insecure, and when women feel insecure, their natural instincts tell them to, well, get on the defensive side.

Never end your life. And that is a friendly, but serious order. Just think of your husband, and the misery you would put him through.. he loves you, and he will stay by your side through all of this. Let him help you! Calmly discuss how you feel, when you feel upset, and just try to show him that you can express your emotions in a way that a man would want them to be expressed. Don't lash out on him, or assign any particular blame to him, or yourself, for that matter.

Yes, it will take time. But time is a blessing, and with time, you can only improve. Good luck, and I hope you begin to understand, that everything is in your control. So be strong, and smile. (: