Just a mini momma heartbeat session.

I haven’t posted on here in quite a while and honestly wasn’t expecting the new change. Not sure how I feel about it to be completely honest…

Life has been tolerable lately. Due to my fiance not being able to wear a wedding band because of his ectrodactyly, we decided to just get matching tattoos instead of getting married. So as of October 13th we are unofficially married. Our 2.5 year old son who was diagnosed with level 3 autism and cerebral palsy started walking in August with no therapy or anything! He’s still not talking so I’ve accepted he will likely always be non-verbal. He had a basic vocabulary of 5-10 words but has regressed to 2-3. You’ll here “no”, “dada”, “mommy” and the occasional “baba” for bottle or sippy cup. Outside of that he will just make noises of scream til you get it right. Sign language has regressed also and he no longer tries to communicate what he wants. He just does everything himself. He will bring me a diaper if he needs changes or he will go to the mini fridge if he wants a snack, juice, or milk. It’s honestly breaking my heart that my almost 3 year old is so independent. Not because he’s growing up but because he’s never really depended on me much. I spent the first 2 years of his life debilitated by postpartum psychosis and absolute fear of being attached to him after such a traumatic pregnancy and NICU experience. I missed out on so much that I can’t get back. We’ve been back and forth on trying to have another baby because of how bad things were with our son. We both want one more baby but then I feel horrible because I feel like having another baby would look like I’m trying to have a do over.

3 Hearts

We wanted to check in with you and see how you were doing and how we can best support you.

1 Heart