Just a week single mother of 3 (18,13 and 5). Divorced for oJust a week single mother of 3 (18,13 and 5). Divorced for

Just a week single mother of 3 (18,13 and 5). Divorced for over 10 years, been in a committed, complicated relationship for 8.5 years. He is basically not communicating at all with me.....but I worry about our daughter (5 year old) feeling abandoned by him. He said he needs to distance himself from me but feel he is doing that to her as well. At the same time it shouldn't be my job to remind him or tell him he should call her or ask to take her for a bit. How or should I address this with him? How long do I give him? Or do I just wait for when he is ready? Just don't want our daughter to start feeling like he left her too!

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You should not have to remind him to have a relationship with his daughter. He needs to do that on his own. Talk to your daughter, give her love and support and remind her that it's HIM and doesn't have anything to do with her. If he's not willing to have a relationship with her then it's his loss. I feel trying to force him will only make you and your daughter feel worse. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

That is how I feel to margie610.....but a part of me thinks it best if he spends time with her sooner than later. It's sad because I don't know if he is not reaching out because he needs to distance himself from me....or if he really isn't thinking about seeing her. I know he loves her.....but I also know that right now he blames me for everything that is wrong in his life. He says he isn't trying to be a **** to me but he needs to get happy and he needs to distance himself from me to avoid doing what we've done in the past.....had arguments and made up and moved on. But in distancing himself from me it seems he is also doing that to our daughter. Mind you she isn't really asking for him....she knows he isn't living with us anymore.....but I just don't want her to ever feel like he left her!

Unfortunately communication has never been a strong suit between us so i just don't know how to speak to him about any of this. I tried on Sunday and he ended up walking away in tears saying he couldn't have this discussion.

Of course it hurts me even more that it seems so easy for him to just walk away while I am left to pick up all of the pieces.....while I sit here in the house we made our home together in and try to pretend like I am holding it all together! Sure doesn't help that I've been home with our sick daughter for three days now.....he knows she is sick but hasn't asked about her since Sunday! He did come sit with her while me and my older daughter went for groceries but he was ready to leave as soon as we returned....so he saw her for a whopping 1.5 hours! He doesn't even know she lost her first tooth last week.....that she hasn't been to school this week.....he knows nothing because he isn't asking anything!