Hello Everyone,
I know it's been awhile since I've been on here. The holidays have kept me busy. Plus the butt load of doctor appointments I've had. Hope everyone's holidays were good. I can't believe Valentines day is approaching. Ours was good. Mt kids are home til' monday and my 13 yr old is getting a little bigger attitude than he can carry at 13. My husband and I seem to be getting along better. However we have those days and they seem really bad when we have them. My 13 yr old acts out so bad over us fighting that we have to have friends come pick the kids up. If we don't he hits the walls, kicks them too. or he slams doors, tears up the house, push his brother or sister down. I'm at wit ends here. I find myself hiding in my room alot. I have days where I don't see my living room but maybe 2 times a day. The kitchen the same, i'm there long enough to cook and clean. I'm in counseling, she says I'm going to change and my life will get better but when?
Hi Trazey, Happy New Year! I am happy to hear that you and your husband are getting along better, though sorry to hear that you're still fighting. And, I can completely understand why your kids are acting out because of it. It's incredibly distressing for children. Is there any way that you and your husband can come to an agreement not to argue around the children or even when they're home. If you can both walk away from one another when you feel an argument coming on, and the children are home, and cool off, that would be good. I know that it's easier said than done, but I just think that it's important to shield your children from this when possible.
When your therapist says that when you change, your life will change; what does she mean by this exactly. And, please only share if you feel comfortable doing so.
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
My thereapist ment that my life was going to be different. I'll become more independent. Not a prisoner in my own home. She also said my marriage might not make it. I want my marriage to work, so I know that someday he will trust me again. I just want my life and relationship to be better. We do get along better but we do have those days. Usually the kids are at school when we argue, however they ve been home for three weeks.
I am currently dealing with my second teen. Try to remember that a teenager does a lot of things because their body is changing and hormones changes can be hard to deal with. I often have to remind myself and my husband that mine is just being a teen. As for the slamming doors. When mine did that the door came off (due to stripped screws.) I left the door off until the girls showed me enough respect that I decided they could have some privacy back. My BIL took his kid's door off for simular reasons. Find something that your teen would look forward to and use doing it as an insentive to behave better. For my girls it has been computer time and going to movies.
Trazey, I totally understand and commend you for wanting to work on your marriage and make it work, because I know that it's not easy. I believe that with hard work and commitment you will get there. And, I better understand that your kids have been off of school for the holidays, so it's hard to always keep everything totally under wraps, because you are human after all and there will be arguments here and there.
How are you feeling today? Are things progressing well for you?
Hi guys,
Thanks so much for your insight, it helped. Yeah today has been alot better. We've been getting along. I'll be so glad when school starts again. My house needs an over haul.. LOL. I see my thereapist again on the 13th. I've also been seeing a urolagist, he said I don't have to have surgury. whew, I've been carrying that around worried. Plus I have to have an ultra sound on my kidneys, because poly systic kidney disease runs in my family. My Dad just had a kidney transplant a couple of years ago for that. so I'm worried there, what if they find one. I heard on the news that transplants are being denied, they've denied 98 people already. Maybe I'm over exagerating I don't know. I just know I'm worried and having nightmares. I have to wait for the phone call, that'll be when they set my appt up. I told my mom about my worries and she thought it was amusing. My husband says don't trip babe, you'll be fine. I look things up on the iternet like that and I worry more, I know I shouldn't look but education is all I got.
Hi Trazey, how are you doing and feeling today? I am so happy to hear that you don't need surgery, what a huge weight off. I think that the research you are doing is great, but don't continue doing so if it's adding unnecessary stress. Know and believe that you will be fine, keep up with doctor's appointments and take care of your health on the whole. Stress is unhealthy and try to avoid things that add to it.
I am also so happy to hear that you've been getting along so much better, that's great. Also, when your kids go back to school, you can get to your home projects which is so fun and fantastic. It always makes me feel so much better to update, clean and re-vamp my home.