Just gave in and shoplifted again. Been fighting a losing battle with this for 22 years. Don't want to do it, can't stand to do it, don't need to do it financially speaking. And yet here I go again. This time I am searching online and trying anything to find a way to prevent this from happening again.
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Sorry you're struggling with this. It sounds like you really are sincere in wanting to stop, but it has its grip on you. I imagine it must be frustrating and scary. First question is, what have you tried so far to help you stop? What was the result? Have you read any books or websites about shopping addiction? Are you in therapy for this? Are you taking any prescription meds for this?
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I have gone to councilling and tried to set up systems to avoid putting myself in the wrong place at the wrong time. 2 years ago I told my wife (married for 17 years). She was rightfully shocked as it doesn't line up with my other habits. In business I have returned overpayment more times than I can count, give to charity etc. It has nothing to do with the item, it is like an all consuming need that takes over my mind. I am only now researching it (now that I know there is a name to it) and reaching out here. I was thinking of starting some kind of a live chat group where people can hold each other accountable, but that may not be a good idea for privacy etc.
Wow, you've tried a lot of things. I'm impressed. I think starting a live chat would be a great idea - I'm sure others would be grateful. And if it's not private enough, maybe you could turn it into a zoom-without-video?
Just wondering if you're familiar with the biological / brain model of addictions? I found it very helpful to learn this info. Google "neurobiology of addiction."
Also, I was wondering if you feel the urge to shoplift every time you go into a store, or only at sometimes.
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That Google search has some interesting information. The surgeon general site did a good job explaining how addiction is a push and a pull. This helps make sense of why we can beat the addiction based on self control for a time ( not producing dopamine in the basal ganglia) , until pain or stress adds a push from behind (stress neurotransmitters in the extended amygdala). Very informative. So begs the question, how do I turn this new understanding into a plan that prevents a repeat failure on my part? As far as your question about how often? Pretty much any time I go into a retail store. However, I have been able to control myself for years at a time and act responsibly. Until I don't.
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@CaptainAmerica, yeah, they didn’t say exactly how to turn this info into a plan to stop kleptomania. Interesting that you were able to control yourself for years at a time, since I am assuming you were in stores during those years. According to the neurobiological model, years of not giving in should have weakened the addictive pull, no? I imagine it must have felt very discouraging to find you gave in after years of not doing it. Question: were you under extra stress in your life on the days you gave in? That would make sense, that the pull would be stronger if you were under stress. If so, can you monitor how much stress you’re under, and not go into stores on those days? Enlist your wife, friends, etc. and ask them to shop for you on those days?