I thought I'd say Hi and introduce myself, maybe try to explain why I'm here.
This time last year I found myself with a healthy heroin habit. I say "found myself" coz I'm not exactly sure how it happened.
I used to be a very normal, single mother to 2 teenage kids, good job, my own house complete with mortgage, my own car. I've used most drugs on and off since I was 13 but 20 years later I've lost everything. My house is sold, my car scrapped for the cash, my kids now live with their Dad. What I'm left with is the man I willingly took this path with.
About 9 months ago I started on a methadone programme and eventually stopped using gear altogether, my partner as well stopped using without the meth. We were doing really well until certain circumstances changed and soon we were both using again on a daily basis to the point where we both have habits again.
I've been honest with my doctor and I'm trying really hard to get by with only the meth but it's harder than last time somehow! It doesn't help that my partner refuses to stop totally. He tries to justify himself with " I just need to cut down before I stop", yes that old chestnut. I'm so pissed off with him, I feel like he's rubbing my nose in it. How the hell am I supposed to do this when he's smoking it in the house? I'm seriously thinking of leaving him. I love him with all my heart but I don't think I can get healthy while I'm living with him.
So that's pretty much where I am at the moment.
If anybody wants to talk about anything I'm around most days.
xx
If you still care for him, give few months for him to quit, otherwise you will leave. This will be the test. It is a difficult journey, but everything is possible to achieve. Do not give up and say a prayer when you can, you will have support and help from above. God bless you.
Thank you Marcie, although I think God turned his back on me a long time ago! I don't blame him. I've been given so many chances and I ruin them every time. Thank you for your kind words, it really means alot xx
I went through a bit of a similar situation myself, though perhaps not quite as severe...all I have to say is do you what you need to do for yourself, hon. It hurts like hell and it's hard, but once you're out of the immediate influence of him and your feelings for him, you'll see that you can't do this if he won't, and he won't if he doesn't truly want to. It's hard, but worth it.