Keep on swimming

Began eating/throwing up at age 13, severe bulemic until age 32, sought help while going through a divorce, single parenting my 2 baby girls. Didn't seem to be getting better until one day I had a different therapist, and I was finally able to share with someone my personal torture; haven't binged and purged for almost 20 years, but still suffer with binge eating at night (big time). I am determined never to re-enter the nightmare of bulemia - its amazing that I am still alive after the abuse I did to myself (I'd be happy to share my 'recovery' with anyone who needs help!) Now I am confused as to what to do about my marriage because my 2nd husband (married 15 years now) is a flaming alcoholic (though he does manage to get to work every weekday, God knows how) who had been sober when I married him and for a few years into our marriage. I don't get online every day, so please be patient with me, anyone who has advice or needs my advice re:bulemia. Thanks! Nanc

Welcome to support groups!!! I am so sorry to hear you battled bulimia, but it is fantastic and amazing that you got help and are recovered! That is very inspiring to me.

There are a lot of techniques used to try staying away from binging at night. A big tip on here is distraction (which is also used for keeping yourself from purging). Like try to not binge by watching a movie or taking a walk. For me what helps is if you want a snack put it in a single serving bowl first that way you won't eat the entire thing and ultimately binge. Are you eating adequately through out the day? The binging could be your body telling you you aren't eating enough normally and making you binge at night. Also, drinking water if you feel the need to binge can also help.

Don't let your husbands alcoholism effect your eating disorder. I know it seems easier to just slip into your eating disorder but don't let it effect you that way. Have you talked to him about it? Can you ask him about maybe counseling, seeing a therapist, or maybe AA meetings? Just a few ideas.

Thinking of you :)

allee

Thanks, Allee! I know the binge eating is my problem, and I have begun exercising more which helps. My husband does not understand the seriousness of bulemia, and has no interest in it, I think because he is overwhelmed by his own addictions. I have tried for the past 10 years to help him (AA meetings, counseling, therapist, finally got a divorce attorney when I found out he had been having sex with prostitutes on his business trips to China) and again he is out of control. Once he realizes I am fed up, he apologizes. I love him but don’t know if I should go on like this with him. Really tired of it. Thanks for listening! Nanc P.S. are YOU doing ok?

Oh wow. That sounds like such a hard situation. You hav to do what's good for you though! And it seems like his problems are burdening you in such a way that it is reactivating your bulimia. And for him to have no care about such a serious disease, especially when you are worried about him- it just doesn't seem balanced. I am not married but personally I don't know if I could stay in such a lopsided relationship especially with the circumstances that you have listed. You are such a strong person o have dealt with it this long and to have held on to reality with out going deep into your disorder as you once were. Still, nonetheless, you are dealing with aspects of bulimia an that is still not good for your health. You need someone that will care and support you. I'm so sorry you are going through a difficult time. Have you tried therapy or a support group other than here for bulimia? That could really benefit you!

Aw you are so sweet. I am doing okay, thanks for asking. Having a much better day emotionally. I have my first eating disorder specialist meeting on Wednesday and I am super nervous! Plus stressed out from classes but I am working on it :)

Thinking of you
allee

Been there done that with classes, I'm rooting for you! Let me know how your eating disorder specialist meeting goes, I hope it is great for you:) The worst part of my marriage is that he has become a constant liar, and I don't think I can live with the lies anymore, but I am confused because supposedly lying is part of the disease (so I've been told many times) and I don't believe it! Thanks for listening, thinking of you too! Nanc