Kind of lost it last night. The more I feel hopeless and frustrated, the more reckless I become. I know part of it is because I DO want attention so that maybe someone will be concerned. Logically, it's the wrong way to go about it. But also I just feel like saying f-it and do it anyway. Many times I just don't see anything getting better or anyone being truly concerned enough to help the root of my situation.
Affection and love are a wonderful thing. Had I just gotten a hug from a sincere female friend, I'm sure my "deep end" would have been a very shallow, soft, step down instead of skydiving head-first without a parachute into a concrete basin full of TNT.
Please just send prayers or good vibes (whichever you believe) as I'm not so much looking for answers or advice as much as I am some encouragement for life to stop being so sh*tty to me for no reason for years on end.
I know I am worthy of giving and receiving love beyond just loving myself. It wasn't made to be exclusive to those who are perfect. Hope you all have a wonderful day.
@jonthecomposer Yes, Hi, and good morning to you! Welcome to this SG sute! You have found the right place, there are many wonderful people on this site, known fondly as SG friends. The bottom of the page is a FAQ, it would assisted you in manuevering around the site.. The right-handed corner are numerous groups, familarized yourself with them. You may joined as many groups, as necessary. Be strong, the best is yet, to followed...... SG friends are here, to support, and be supported. Maybe you are looking for Love, in all the wrong places. You should volunteered at Food a Banks, Habitats for Humanity ect. Find a new hobby, joined the Community Centre. You will eventually find Love.... But in the meanwhile make yourself Happy! This is coming from a late bloomer. Hugs.
@Irma Thank you. Honestly, most of those things you list simply don’t exist where I am at. And believe me, I’m not one who hasn’t tried almost everything. And because nothing seems to work, it just adds to my frustration. I’m ALWAYS “out there.” Hope has no place in my heart.
Life can be tough. My husband had a major stroke in 2011- never recovered. I tried to care for him the best I could...however, his family just criticized my efforts and never had any compassion for the suffering I was going thru. He died in 2013 but I just cannot seem to forget or forgive them. We have no contact as there is no reason to keep in touch. He suffered for two years and he knew how badly his family was treating me but there was nothing we could do.
@Nancy1017 I’m so sorry you had to go through that. That’s awful! I can’t even imagine. I don’t even know what to say to help or if that’s even possible. But just know that I understand fully the power of loving someone. And when that is taken away from you, much less for no reason, it hurts more than words can describe. I empathize with you greatly. Just know I wish I could help.
I find that discussing my thoughts does help. It is hard to imagine that anyone could be as cruel and mean as his family was....but they were. Apparently they never even liked me....found that out after being with him for over 25 years......but I will say that I got thru it with my family and friends - I just wish I could get out of this funk I am in'