Learning to love me again

So I haven t been on here in a while. Since the last time I have been on here my husband was arrested.. He hit rock bottom and decided to change his life. We are in church now and getting counseling. It hasn't been easy at all . I still have hard times understanding and blaming my self for what he did. I feel still inadequate as a wife, woman and lover. I don't always understand why I feel this way but I am working on myself first. I am learning to love me and that alone is a task. Its hard to talk to him because we are suppose to be working past it with the counseling and yet I still feel at times like I want to talk to him about it.. and still want to know WHY.. the question that really doesnt have a concrete answer. That seems to be the hardest thing to accept sometimes. I have decided to live my life more enjoyable and healthier.But its hard . There are still nights that I cry when he is asleep feeling so lost and hurt that he did those things behind my back.

Stay strong!!!! I know it is hard to do but do the best you can. I almost wonder if there is never a concrete answer to why. If there was a concrete answer is there ever a good reason to do that to the one you love. It sounds rough but the way I am thinking at this time. Any reason my wife gives dosn't change the fact that it happened, or make it any easier. So I asked myself is there one that would, and the answer is NO!!! So where do I go from here.....that is what I am working on and I think you pretty much said it in your post. Take care of myself and hope that she stays beside me along the way, and supports me after all she caused it. I don't know if this helps you in any way (Ihope it does) but reading yours it just clicked, so I say Thank you, for your post helped me. And again STAY STRONG!

Thank you unwanted36. You are correct. Stay strong also. Its a hard path to follow but I feel the same way there isn't any one that would help me any more that he does. He has been trying really hard and it hasnt been easy for him either but I feel it cant be about him right now. He cause this pain and hurt. Its about healing right now and that does include him but isnt fully focused on him.

Excatly it sound selfish but there choice was also selfish, so now is a time to be selfish with in reason and take care of our self. And do that without shutting them out, and they should at least understand that.