Letting the shackles of ed fall away

im not going to lie recovery was hell for the first couple of months i went from an anorexic to a binge eater and just felt trapped between the two but now ive come to realize im neither of those im a person with feelings and god dammit i matter i totally have had a turn around in the last couple of weeks i havent binged or restricted in well over a month and i feel great about that i thought i was stuck i thought there was no other way to live but there is i find life so much more enjoyble right now yeah i still have ed thoughts from time to time but i dont let them consume my mind food is no longer a factor of dealing with anything other than actual hunger ive gained quite a bit of weight and am now up to a healthy weight finally no more worrying about that i dont really even care about my weight any more i never thought id say that but i dont weight is just that weight it doesnt matter what size you are you can be happy or you can be depressed weight is not a way to deal with emotions and a couple of months ago i would of said thats bull the only way to be happy is to be skinny no thats bull because i was really skinny and miserable as hell everyday seems a little brighter now that i can actually face my problems instead of hiding inside my own little world of sickland yeah thats what i call ed sickland or death row one of the two im just so happy that i no longer worry about what food is doing to me i have let go of that i live in the now tommorow can be dealt with tommorow and yesterday cant be taken back or forgotten but thats ok because everything will work out eventually one way or the other. yeah there will always be sadness and grief in your life theres no way to avoid it but you can accept it as part of life. i never want to be at my low again but i know it will come and i will deal with it in healthy ways ways that help me survive rather than move closer to death

acousti...I like your attitude! I'm happy for you that you are realizing that life is not about what you weigh...and that you can see who you really are. Thank you for sharing!
Jan ♥

Acoustiyears,

Nice! :) You're so right; manipulating one's weight is not the way to deal with emotional problems. I'm so glad you've made such wonderful progress. :)

Love,

Jen

I love your attitude towards the ED! :) You CAN get through this & it's wonderful that you are on your way with a determined attitude! :)