Ever lie? sure u have,but have u ever created a world for yourself based on lies? i have and now ive ruined lives and broke hearts.And why did i do it? cuz i was selfish and loved the attention and once the lies were set it was easir to go with the flow.i cant sleep or eat or breath.i want to die for what ive done and for what ive created.Talk to me..tell me i have a problem and that im not just a piece of ****.,
Daydreamer74, we've all made mistakes in our lives, because no one is perfect after all, we are human. Please don't be so hard on yourself, know that you made these mistakes and try to learn and grow from them. But, then leave them behind and move forward knowing that you won't repeat these same mistakes.
Also, is there a possibility for you to mend these relationships? Can you open up and let people know how sorry you are for hurting them?
Dear friend. I know the anguish you feel. At one time I created my own little world based on lies.For awhile it served my purposes. I fed on the attention the lies gave me, and I felt powerful over the people I was misleading.I wanted people to feel sorry for me. I thought I was fooling others but most of all I deceaving myself. When I was at the bottom I became honest with everyone. It was the hardest thing I ever did. clearing away the wreckage of the mess I created was agonizing but it was one of the most rewarding tasks. finally I was being real and authentic. You are on your way so don't give up now. You are not alone. For years I thought I must be the only one so screwed up. You are not a worthless person. you are a troubled woman struggling with life on lifes terms. our way of coming to terms and coping with reality may be different but there are numerous men and women who manipulate reality with lies drugs alcohol and other behavoirs.
I believe you can get through this. Admitting it is the first step. We do recover!