Life went from what else can go wrong to wishing the world w

Life went from what else can go wrong to wishing the world would just end. Worst part is it's all my stupid fault. I looked at my old b/f's FB page. idk why, just...I'm stupid. My old friends are still blaming me for what happened to him, how I ruined him, destroyed him and his life and his true calling and how cuz of me he dropped out of the church, is into drugs and working at walmart. I kept looking through the TL and saw posts from friends saying I was always a sl*t and how they tried to warn him. These are the same friends who set me up with him. I was like almost 14, he was 17. We never did sex but he showed friends pics and vids of me and him, and he was being talked to at church, cuz he was close to graduating and going to go on his mission. The bishop told him he had heard some things so my b/f showed him everything. I got kicked out of my house, the church told me to go away and I got tired of being cold and hungry so I did some things for money. The last thing I read that just made me want to die was a post from my mom telling him how sorry she was that I was born and how I ruined his life and her life. And that I was always bad and I'm now living in a house with nothing but druggies and hookers. She didn't say I was in a rehab hospital cuz of my brain injury. And she wrote how she prayed for me and wished I would come home with her but I like being a hooker. The therapist came over and took my tablet and put me in a time out area cuz she was afraid I would start having seizures. I didn't and I calmed down after awhile...wishing I had a razor or something. idk why it hurts...I know what she is like...it just hurts. Sorry for talking so much. I just had to get things out.

All of this just sounds like a tragedy. A tragedy about whats happening to your boyfriend; a tragedy that people would say such rude things about you. But also, its a tragedy that your mother thinks that way about you. Every life is precious. Yours is. I don't know you, but the people in those FB posts seem like they are trying to make you seem like a bad person. But I can tell you're not. You're just a person who's been hurt and a person who didn't get enough understanding from others. I know its hard, but try to avoid looking at those FB posts again. They seem to only be making things worse. I'm sorry you're hurting. You deserve more than this; more than this life full of hurt. I can't wait til the day things get better for you.

@Believerinbetter Thanks…i know better…I guess I was hoping someone remembered me in a good way…

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time with your mom. It must have been painful to read those words on FB. I hope that you can get some help in the hospital.

@Ann63 My therapist here sucks. I just sit there waiting for it to end so I can go back and read, sit, do nothing.

Have you considered talking to a nurse or someone in charge to see if you can get a different therapist?

oh yeah...even my social worker did. told the other ones are maxed out on their caseload...something like that...and its not really a hospital...its a residential group home / school

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I dont know your whole story but I do understand your pain. My son has a brain injury, he lives with me. It is difficult at times. He is an adult and is divorced from a very abusive woman. He has 4 children with her. I dont understand your mom or any mother that can turn their back on their sick child. I will never turn my son away or speak badly of him. People dont understand brain injuries. They actually think you can control your personality changes. I also have noticed people are very abusive to people who have brain injuries. I don't understand it. You are being abused by the people who should be protecting you. I see so many similarities in the abuse with you that my son experiences. People are saying very damaging things about you that aren't true on a social media site. Your mom should be confronting this person and demanding he take any derogatory comment about you off of his facebook. His mom should be teaching him about respect and how to treat a woman. I would never sit back and let my son degrade a woman as he is you. Shame on all of them. I know you don't want to hear this, my son gets tired of me saying this, but you have to take the high road. I know what they are saying is hurtful and you want to lash out. They are toxic and you need to rid yourself of them and anyone like them. You deserve better.

@vqzms Thank you…finally someone gets it…I’m sorry about your son. And the pain and stuff it puts you through too. I’m starting to realize that this is as good as my life will get. Unless I’m able to run away and go live on the street or something, I’ll never be able to live alone. I sorta have to take the high road with all of them…cuz of my old behavior and job and stuff, my fb was closed, so no way for me to respond anyways.
Thank you… what you wrote meant a lot