Has anybody else read "Life Without Ed" by Jenni Schaeffer? I bought it yesterday and am halfway through it and am finding it INCREDIBLY helpful. I'm wondering if anyone else is using/has used the approach that she uses where you assign your ED voices as actual "characters" in your brain and argue with and disobey them. If so, I'd like to hear how it's worked for you? Any tips or helpful advice? It's so strange how it really DOES seem to work to argue with those voices. It's showing me that they AREN'T real and aren't really who I am...at my core. Does this make ANY sense whatsoever???
have'nt read the book but what you say makes perfect sense. i used to call them 'the commitee' only have 2 now. hope you enjoy the rest of the book.
Hi...I have read the book, and I know Jenni personally. She writes very well, with a very basic approach to some of the more commom stumbling points during recovery.
I'm so glad you are finding it helpful. Keep searching yourself as well for what YOU need...take care...Jan ♥
I haven't read the book, but I have read women, food and God by Geneen Roth and found that really helpful although I may try this one too...thanks:)
Moongal x
MG, i read "women food and god" too. she's very insightful and i like her approach to eating. basically eat what your body is asking for. period!
Ya and it can be so difficult at times, especially when you are "in form" to disobey that order. I was re-reading it there and it's so hard to get out of that zone of trying to "fix" ourselves...and saying if I'm x weight then I'll be able to handle everything...we are intelligent people, we know this is not true, but yet we still suck it up.
So I guess I am still finding it hard, but working at it. Hope you are doing well hun.
Love you
Moongal x
yeah, i have the battle NON-stop in my head..."if i just get down to X, then i'll be happy". and we all know FULL well, that when we DO get there, we're NOT happy and, in fact, might even be MORE miserable b/c of the destruction it takes to get there!
I think it takes a lot to get there, and to actually believe ya know just me, I am good enough, how I am right now, but if we keep working, it will happen.
Love you
MG x
YES!!!! absolutely MG!! and i just read the BEST chapter yet in this book, titled "you don't look like you have an eating disorder" where she talks about how these are the WORST words someone suffering from an ED can hear. she heard them and so have i. in fact, i just went to my doc on wednesday to get required bloodwork done and he said to me, "looking at you, you look like a normal, healthy girl." ughhhhhh....i wanted to DIE!!!!!
like jenni says, ANYBODY at ANY weight can have an eating disorder and, in fact, she said that some of the SICKEST people with an ED she's seen throughout the years, have been the ones at a more "healthy" weight and that when she was at her sickest with ED was when she, herself, was at a "normal" weight range.
this is EXACTLY what i'm experiencing right now. i've been 10 lbs lighter than i am now, heck, prob even LESS, and i feel i'm at my WORST, lowest point ever with my ED. i just can't wait to recover and to be able to be at a point where i accept and, perhaps even, love myself!! the freedom will be SO amazing i'm sure!! i can't wait!!
Ya,
That is the worst thing to say to someone ever. It's cos people aren't informed and they don't know what to expect. I used to wish for anorexia, I used to think if I had that people would "get" it, and then I'd have to get immediate help cos I was so ill, but it's not about the food or wanting to be thin, it's the not being good enough and accepting myself.
It just kinda shows how sick my my mind went, just feeding into the distorted thing more and more.
Keep fighting it hun
love you
Moongal x
mg, your thinking is exactly what has gotten me to this very low point (going into OP on wed). in december i knew i was going back to see my family for xmas and i had gotten to the point where, after 30 years of struggling so much with Ed, i'd had enough and wanted to scream out for help. this was always my little ritual before i went to see my extended family (mainly my mom); i would tell myself, "okay, this time it will be the time i'll be SO skinny my mom will finally reach out and tell me to get help." so, before each visit, i would restrict bigtime so that i'd be "skinny enough" for them to notice. well, this time it worked....i starved, b/p'd, etc. for the month, got "low enough" and they held a little mini-intervention. looking back i realize how many YEARS i wasted and how much happiness i cut myself off from, if i had ONLY just asked for the help instead of the sick thinking that i had to look a certain way or have a scale tell me how badly i was suffering. it's a diesase of the MIND....period! it's not about the weight or the food or the measurements. it's about the pain we're trying to numb and a way to cope with other underlying issues.
I know I feel the same, I feel as if part of my life has and is being robbed off me all because I don't think I'm good enough. I don't want one more moment of this I want MY life. It's like I have this crazy perception built up that I can't be happy, and there are so many things that do bring me happiness that I don't indulge in anymore out of fear. Like fashion, I refuse to read those mags anymore even though I adore clothes I fear I would self hate cos of it, make-up; I don't even want to look at myself anymore and forget going out socialising, it's so hard when you believe you are too ugly to make eye contact with people.
There is a sane part of me saying...OMG what you are telling yourself is absurd, you have to start enjoying yourself more, but the negative voice is going to take a lot to kill.
Best of luck in treatment
Love to you
Moongal x
Moongal and
Pecsweet
I have many of the same feelings you both are having....ugh thats all I can safely share here
can never speak my truth because that has been taken away from me:(
Hey Annoymousgirl,
I am sorry you feel you can't share your feelings, but I feel I know some of what you are going through and feel your pain. Someday we will be awash with pure joy, the joy of ourselves, and I can't wait for that day.
Love to you
Moongal x
MG, i can SO relate to your feelings, especially that i'm undeserving of good things. the clinician at the recovery center i'm attending told me that's a very common feeling for people who suffer from ED's, especially "restricters". i can't think of the last time i actually BOUGHT clothes for myself because of my BDD and bad thoughts of my body. i walk around looking like a homeless person everyday b/c i don't want to take a shower and have to be naked and look at my body. it's ironic, i have an ED for fear of maintaining my weight/looks, and yet all week long, i look like a hot mess!! WTF?? makes absolutely no sense.
i, too, can't wait for the day i feel self-acceptance. this ED has robbed me of so much and fitting into skinny jeans or wearing a size 0 just CAN'T be THIS important????