This is my first post. I am suffering from anxiety brought on by present circumstances. I do not have a history of depression or anxiety. I am facing the worst possible situation for a mother ( except for the illness or death of a child of course. My 21 yr . old son is about to go to prison for 5 or more years. I am trying constantly to reassure him that his life is worth living and that suicide is not the answer. I have considered that it may be a better option for him and me as well. I don't know how to accept this and live my life . I am tired of pretending that everything is ok when it will never be again. I know he was wrong and does deserve to be punished. But he made a mistake, we all do. He has never given me a day of trouble. Every day I struggle with how to cope with this nightmare. I dream about him being beat up, I worry that I might die while he is there and there wont be anyone to help him when he comes home. Has anyone dealt with a child being incarcerated that can help me get some ideas on how to cope and to help him prepare himself and not kill himself. He is on house arrest right now awaiting sentencing.
Hi Nosunshine, welcome to Support Groups, thank you so much for being here and for sharing. I do not have direct experience with what you are going through, though I am here to offer my help and support in the best way that I possibly can. I know that this is an incredibly difficult situation, but I think that the key is to stop, take a big step back and to start taking it one day at a time. If you keep going through all of the what ifs, then you will drive yourself crazy doing, thus the anxiety. Your son needs you now more than ever and he will need you to be his rock/strength now and while he is in prison. You are going to be his hope, his sunshine and his positivity. This is going to be a bump in the road of his life, but it's really a time where he can learn and grow. Do you know what type of prison he will be in? Is there a possibility of an appeal or shorter sentence for good behavior? Anything to give him some type of initial hope. As well, does the prison have any educational or athletic programs where he can expand his knowledge? If you can work to point out the positives [as much as possible] for him and also talk to him about his future and all there is to look forward to, then this will keep him going. It's about getting him out of this moment of despair and giving him continual hope.
Do you have any support for yourself, such as family or friends? It is important that you open up and share what you are going through. A therapist is also a good option. Please know that I am here for you and here to help you in any way that I can.