Living with ADHD

Is there anyone out there who is successful without medication? I can't take anything because of my eating disorder and I'm failing miserably. School aside, even day to day things like waiting for the light to turn, waiting in line at the supermarket, and just slowing down in general are excruciating. I am wondering, for those of you who manage without meds, what helps you?

I am wondering if my son could have adhd he is 10 yrs old.My husband doesn't want to believe it but I think he does he is wound up like a clock and thats just one thing.Could you give me some things I could look for in him that may let me have a better ideal?I would really be thankful. I love him so much I just want to help him. Thank you.

Hi Racheal,

For me, impulsivity is a big problem. I can’t wait in line and I frequently walk into intersections because I can’t wait for the light to change. I’m really impatient and tend to interrupt people when they are talking. I feel really restless when not on medication. I have trouble sitting through class. When I get this way, I get really anxious, especially if I’m stuck in a situation I can’t leave. I have trouble focusing for a reasonable period of time. My mind wanders and I find myself missing parts of conversations/ lectures and having to reread material. If you think your son has ADHD you should have him tested. He is young and if it is caught early he will have a better chance at doing well in school and things at home should get easier. I know the thought of medicating your child is scary and I’m not necessarily advocating it. There are lots of other strategies that could work and he’ll get extra help in school. There are occupational therapists in school who work with kids with ADHD and they can help your son learn study skills and provide an environment to work off some energy during the school day. As a child, my parents didn’t put me on medication. However, I wish they did. I would have had such an easier time in school. And once I was in high school I was finding it on my own anyway. I finally got medication prescribed in college and not only have I been able to memorize, learn, and retain information better, but I’ve calmed down a lot and been able to function better. I hope this information helps and I wish the best to you and your son.

~Amna

i dont no of anyone who has suceeded without medication but the youngest boy has it quite bad, its like living in rewind we found that a piece of rope to knot or undo the million knots use to help him stay calmer in queues or wait his turn, car journeys are always the worse thing and the million are we there yets drive us all mad but with his knots to concentrate on he is at least occupied for a short while, we all so found herbal tea helped him to take the edge of the behaviour. hope this helps and good luck with the studying/day to day living

As i sit and read these post I just want to cry I just love him soo much that I want him to be perfect.My husband is so against meds that I don't know if I could ever get him talked into taking him to a doctor since he thinks that would change the person he really is and he would then act like a zomby don't get me wrong I don't want him doped up either but would like him to feel better.He is a VERY smart boy but as he gets older (5th grade)he is having a harder time staying focused in class so therefor his class work is suffering he knows how to do it just can't sit still or focus long enough to do it!I am fixing to just jump the gun and take it into my own hands what would a doctor be that deals with adhd be called?

as i respond to your post, “i wanna cry” as i have so many nights in the last 10 almost eleven years…my youngest son will be 11 in september…i just recently in april decided to put my son on meds…his behavior has been so bad since a young age, but i blamed myself due to no dad in his life and me working as a night nurse and sleeping most days…i have 3 other children who r now grown…and as a matter of fact my last 2 sons moved with their dad as soon as they graduated due to my youngest sons behavior.i continued to blame myself and hid us from world as much as possible due to i was embarrassed by his behavior…i completely stopped living besides workin, eating and sleeping…friends stopped inviting us places…no one wanted to babysit my son, etc, etc, etc. last october my adult daughter insisted i go to a local bar where her boyfriend was playing in a band…i tried to cancell out…but my daughter wouldnt let me…she knew i needed a night out…i went …and bumped into a man that one of my friends had dated 14/15 yrs ago and he asked for my number…i gave it to him…we talked the next day…set up a date for following wkend…i thought up a million excuses to cancell that date…but pushed myself to go…by xmas eve this man asked me to marry him…havent set a date yet…but being with him made me realize my son needed help!!!it wasnt my lack of parenting or my exagoration…anyhow i took my son to our family doctor and voiced all my concerns…i was at wits end, this child had, only way i can put it “ruined my life”.anyhow this doctor recommended an ADHD specialty center in Middletown, Ct…we went…they explained that the ADHD child is actually doesnt have enough of a certain chemical in his brain to sit still, controll impulsiveness,concentrate etc,etc,etc. I finally gave in and allowed them to put him on medication…he has had 2 med changes since but, the one he is on now…is workin pretty good…we have seen 2 counselors also…these ADHD centers just seem to know what u r going through…they keep in touch with my sons school…and extra help is given where needed…although my son is bright when he does work…he will be entering 5th grade next year in middle school…i am abit worried but things r better, not perfect but tolerable…i was just like your husband…i said for years NO MEDICINE, til i heard he was actually not producing enough of a chemical in his brain to act appropriatly in life…at the clinic my son admitted that he couldnt controll himself and since on meds he says he feels good…if u dont seek help for your son u r doing him an injustice…letter from the heart sherri

Oh ya by the way thank you!!

it comes under general pediatrics these days and no the meds dont dope them up, it just levels the mayhem out to a manageable level during the day. our boy had them for school and not the holidays as its not a long term or harmfull drug that u need to b kept on or weened off it its as simple as the weather yes we hav sun/take tablet no its raining/dont take tablet. i would make sure u go and see someone about it yourself and find out the info then see if hubby wants to b a part of it if not make your choice on the bases of what u hav been told, only thing we did was keep a check on his growth and weight as this sometimes becomes an issue. holding on till i hear the outcome. sucess im sure good luck

Oh man does that give me some hope!!I think I will do just that while school is out and see how it goes.Me and my son had a talk about it and he seemed to be all for something that would help him it was refreshing to see that he was even glad to see that I was wanting to dig a little deeper into it and get him some relief and we had never mentioned it to one another before at all.So I am looking up from here and hoping all goes well...Thank all of you>

that sounds like a solid plan racheal and i wish u every sucess to help your young man. its a question of arming yourself with every knowledge u can and taking the bits that work. my young man is in the forces now and we look back on that period and can laugh about the trouble we had, he still has his tablets when he needs them but is more able to control himself and concentrate when he needs to,

Wow hearing that gives me hope!Thank you so much.

oops one thing i forgot and he reminded me was to get an overview of what niggles others had with him for example granny was driven insane by his constant moving while grandad wasnt bothered by that but having to shout for his attention, then u can gage better what he needs when he needs it and to be honest none of my brothers or bros in law even noticed they just thought it was because he was the younger boy.

untill u tell us more as usual

loving thoughts and positive vibes

My son was diagnosed at age of 9 years old with ADHD. His pediatrician put him on Ritalin and it helped for a while with behavior, concentration and calmed him down. Then it started affecting his mood, appetite and made him listless. I was married at the time to my now exhusband who was not my son's father and he had no understanding of ADHD. He thought it was bad behavior on my son's part and me not punishing him. I started reading a book about people drugging their children because of the disease and I felt guilty. So I stopped all medication. I tried to get him into a special class at school for those with ADHD and other learning disabilities and they said after the testing,that he was borderline and didn't qualify. Yet reading school reports from various grades and teachers point out that he cannot concentrate long enough or sit still and behavior was sometimes an issue.

Now my son is a grown man at age of 29 and still dealing with ADHD. But now things are worse than in school because he can't seem to hold a job. He is an intelligent and very imaginative man and great with using his hands. He can put gas grills or other things that need assembly together without using the instruction book. He has trouble sleeping at night and has started to rely on alcohol to sleep. Not everynight because my mom (who he lives with now) will not let him. So what kind of help is there for a grown man that can't hold a job and still has behavior aspects from ADHD?

I am new here , I am in desperate need of support as my 7 year old has ADHD and ODD ( oppositional defiant disorder ) and life is just so stressful with him . I don't know how to reach him . Can anyone please help me , I feel like such a failure . I am becoming more and more depressed , he is either bouncing off the walls b/c of the ADHD or being beyond difficult b/c of the ODD . His behavior has others not wanting to be arround him ( talking about teachers )and I worry that with each year it is both getting worse . I am clueless and need help for him and our family .

hi sduf

its hard when u have no idea what to do for the best, and the op def disorder is hard to explain to others if they dont know about it one of my lovies has attachment disorder/ADHD

SO yes i feel for u have u sought medical help or some type of therapy for him, i know all about not wanting to be around a child who has so many seemingly bad habbits, and lacks the ability to stay on track with anything?

as always

loving thoughts and positive vibes

Thank you for replying and for understanding my stress . He has seen dr's and at the moment I don't have insurance and so seeing a specialist for the ODD is not happening .It's just frustrating b/c he has the best morals and values ( helps people by holding the door , will run to help someone who is hurt , sticks up for random kids who he doesn't even know and is amazing with his baby sister ) but at the same time he is unruly , draining . I have joined this group b/c I am becoming depressed and hopeless . No one other than my family are aware of his issues / what life is like for him and the family b/c we don't want him to be treated differently . I just struggle b/c I know people think he is bad and I see how they can say this but they don't know why and I have insane anxiety when he is at school / camp for what I will be told when I pick him up . The main issues stem from ODD as the ADHD is treated for the most part with meds until it wears off . I spent my day crying , I am robing my 11 month old daughter of the times and attention she needs b/c I am depressed and drained from him . I am looking at diet change and all and don't know what else to do . I don't like who I am becoming and I feel like I am failing him as a mother and I feel lost and angry all of the time and this is not me , random people are noticing the tension I carry but don;t know why.

hon

ive been that parent that goes to school/after school activities and wanted the ground to open up and swallow me loads of times,

ive been the one out shoppin with the child hanging off the shelving as i try to hide behind my purchase, looked down at the floor incase i catch anyones eye but......

eventually i had to have some control of the situation for my sanitys sake.

i found all the info i could about adhd and attachment disorder and gave school a little booklet i had made so if it was in the book dont tell me about the problem, although this didnt solve the problem it did lessen the ammount of times they could come and moan about him which was a huge relief.

i used this idea with extended family so that if they chose to visit do a daytrip with us it wasnt a chore as we were all reading from the same page finally

as always loving thoughts and positive vibes