Living with someone that has PTSD

I lived with a man for years after the divorce for fear of my life my kids safety and his own life. I at one point was a semi normal human til the day he said I don't want any of this,I don't want you, the kids, the dog...O.k I thought scared of what I was going to doing alittle dumb founded but I could understand. I gave time...Thought let him go...But he didn't go and he bribed my kids to follow him down the path of self destruction. He wanted us all to go with him. I was going to leave him but my daughters duck ended up dead the same nite he was out. He let go of us all mentally but would not go. He kept the threat over my head of death and would sit in the dark not saying anything or other times say demented things. Never to anyone but me. I never made a plan or got extra education because when I tried something would always go wrong.I enabled everyone,gave them everydime I worked for cooked cleaned got them up in the morning. It started affecting me but I didn't want the kids to suffer, I couldn't work all the time, had physical pain, emotional breakdowns when I was alone.I hated living there but I hated leaving just as much.Now I am alone wandering thru trying to figure out what I need, who I am and how to do it.I have to work on things this I know. But for right now I just want the pain to stop. I take it hour by hour right now and that is all I can do.

wilted kitty .... have you sought out a therapist yet?

The pain will fade over time. It really does.

I have that in plan mode. I am between homes right now. I am thinking I can do this, I am impatient with myself. I usually give not take. But I am alive.

I am glad that you have opened up to this possibility. However, I hope you seek out a therapist sooner than later.

Just think of it like this: If you break your leg you go to the doctor. You don't let it heal on its own. Have you ever seen a broken limb that wasn't set right?

Well, your mental health is just like a broken leg. Go to the professionals just like you would with any other aliment. You will heal much faster and you will heal correctly.

Thank you and plan on it...Life circumstances are in the way right at this time. Soon though.

I'm so sorry for your suffering wilted. What you describe is going to take a long time to distant yourself from that feeling & fear & when you finally find the time to seek one on one counseling (if affordable) I'm hopeful you'll eventually find some relief. All my strengths.

I'll be thinking of you.

April

Thank you, Counceling is a great option, after a house, a job and some stability, I am in transition I could not stay in the same state,I have moved twice so far in three months. It is not a question I need it, Its when ...Very hard to have nothing and start over.

Agreed, shelter, food, clothing thats always first. I dont even want to remember how many times (even though I do) I moved through the years & the emotional price my kids & I paid in moving state to state & each school system was different, one state could be doing 3rd grade work for a 9yr. old (at the time) & the next state was doing 8th grade level work for a 9yr. old. Thank goodness they are now 18 & 26 & doing well in life.

So you'll do what you can do like you have been, thats all one can ask of themselves huh.

I'll be thinking of you

April

yes, and at this time those things matter most. I can only do what I can. I am so tired of doing what others think is best. Walk in their shoes then pass judgement.Thats what I say. Nothing to do with you or here just a statement. Thank you.

I really dont look at it that way as much now anymore, I just see it as others having been through alot in their lives & sharing their experiences, thoughts & yes their opinion at times for others to consider. GEE WIZ, I get my butt kicked here alot & then sometimes THANKED for sharing my experiences, so go for it, I wont take it personal, thats what we all here for & the beauty of this site huh :)

Keep talking w/us, let it out, good, bad or indifferent.

April

From Substance Abuse to Mental & Physical Abuse