Lonely in Miami

OK here's the story:

About 5 years ago I moved to Miami from Los Angeles, BIG mistake! Since my move to Miami I've tried to find and make friends out here but to no avail. This city is flooded with Latins, and if you're not one the people don't want to have anything to do with you. I'm an easy going guy that's into music, art, travel, outdoor activities etc.. You'd think it wouldn't be that hard for me to make friends.

With te exception of being around my dysfunctional Father and Grandparents, I'm alone 24-7. I'm 38, no car and seems like no promise of making any friends anytime soon. I've started talking to an intern/counselor that's helping me talk about the issues I have with my Dad but it doesn't help the loneliness. It's the weidest thing. It's like I'm repelling people away from me. I can't make out what it could mean. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

I'm an easy going guy and friendly to others but in this ***** of a city the people won't give me the time of day! I go to school and there are some guys there but no one I can be friends with. It's really starting to get to me. My weekends are spent all alone with not a single person to talk to in at least 3 years! Won't somebody help me!!

Help me if you can I'm feeling down - And I do appreciate you being around - Help me get my feet back on the ground - Won't you please please Help Me!!

Highoctanerock - i am sorry about your situation, i know how it can be to move somewhere where you don't know anyone. I think you need to keep getting there and trying to go to new places to meet people. Do any of your old friend know people in the new city? Try different activities both day and night. Find out if you can join any groups that do outdoor activities, maybe join a band if you play an instrument, take an art class. Also perhaps its hard to meet people if you are not happy with your living situation, that can be tough. Try and take a new outlook and make it a goal to try going somewhere new once a week, or taking a class or something. Keep your head up, it will get better!

Let us all know how you are doing!

Thanks Victoria for taking the time to respond. It’s been a real struggle out here in Miami. Especially since I don’t have a car at the moment, it makes everything that much more difficult. Besides, even if I had a car I’d probably be at home anyway; the people out here are so freakin unfriendly it’s not even funny! And because I love Rock music it’s all the more difficult to relate to people out here in Miami. UGGHHHH!!! Give me Los Angeles any ol day!

I moved from San Diego (born & raised) to MS. 16yrs. ago & people are people no matter where one lives, so keep doing as best you can & when you feel like talking then talk w/us here, your not alone & you'll meet new friends here too. Am sorry you down right now & I'll bet any day now you'll meet up w/someone & invite them over or meet them somewhere or talk on the phone w/them. You doing the best you can do & it all takes time my friend & Good for you for talking w/a counselor continue it, it will be helpfull in the long haul & you'll learn alot.

Take care of you.

April

Thanks April for the support, you rock! Now, obviously you’ve never been to Miami before. It’s NOT “people are people no matter where one lives”. The people out here are geniunely bad, and if you don’t speak Spanish here it’s even worse. I’m still hopeful though. I’m thinking of joining a activities group out here or something. We’ll see…I’ve got to get a car first!

I've been to FL. before so understand & I love the activity group thing, is that through college?

Trust me people can be very rude/mean/strange/odd everywhere, I'm still told I have an accent, NO I DONT & I cant understand alot of what they are trying to say & then when I ask them to repeat it or excuse me, they look at me like I'm retarded or deaf LOL....

Keep going......

I can understand what you are saying , what instrument do you play ? Do you sing ?
I have a friend in west palm that is looking to put a band together , he found a female singer/keyboard player
on craigslist still running ad. Could you put an ad on CL
You may have to travel out of little Havanna to see the changes you are looking for.
But I know there is public transportation.
OR:
Do you have a place to jam ? Maybe you can import musicians that wouldn't mind a change .
I am a muscian, I write and record but I am in Upstate NY. I'd be willing to talk to you about your aspirations.
Let me know , There are some Bad A## people in Miami but also everywhere else too so watch your back . Marty

Highoctane rock,,
Dude . I am sorry to hear your story..Yes you are in Miami. a Hispanic town. I am in Fort lauderdale, 40 minutes away from you and I am Hispanic that used to live in Miami before.

Believe it or not.. , Miami offer so many activities tahn you wont find in any other city... Sometimes you can't simply choose, there are so many activities on the weekends in Miami that you can't make on your mind..When I was there I didn't have a car.. and I still have plenty friends there. Hit the streets, get out of the cocoon , go for a beer, have some fun.

A lot of people would be jealous of you to be in Miami.
Go to the beach, enjoy your favorite team in town, go to the library and search the activities they have, go for a beer and immerse yourself in a chitchat, go out dancing, check the locals bands, etc, etc,. Your options are endless.

If you want a car.. Work for it.It's that simple.People won't dislike you because you are not Hispanic. I was there 2 weeks ago with a bunch of people that I 've never seen in my life and I had a blast.There is nothing wrong in Miami

1 Heart

Dude, are you kidding - I am hispanic and MIAMI IS THE WORST CITY IN THE WORLD!! This city is built for and on Latins. If you like clubbing to Latin music or have a boat then you’ll do fine in Miami otherwise, this city i for the birds.

You may know people out here Victor because you grew up out here and you’re Latin but I didn’t grow up in Miami and I’m Latin but grew up in California so our upbringing is a bit different and I’m more comfortable with the American culture. The only people who would be jealous of me are the people that live in Cuba…

no brother.. I am not cuban , and I didn't grew up in Miami.There are A LOT of clubs in Miami ( and they are famous for that)that are not hispanic. I even got friends here in Fort lauderdale that go often to Miami to party because they don't have the 4am restriction. On other hand I meet several people from here, that tried to stay in California but they hated there and came back.

It's the point of view.. As I say try to enjoy in MIami. You have sooo many options to go out and enjoy there.I guess that the only reason that I really like Miami.

You have so many resources and options.. Use it and be happy.

The reason why people from Miami don’t stay in California is because in California people speak ENGLISH! It’s more of the American culture there and latins have a hard time with it. Why do you think people from Miami never leave Miami, because they know they would have to speak English and they would have to adapt to the American culture.

Think about it Victor; all the clubs out in Miami cater to the latin life style. It’s either salsa, meringue, or reggaeton. latins don’t know any other music like Rock, blues etc…Don’t be blind Victor and open up to what America has to offer…

Hello Hioctanerock!

When I read your story I did a double take. I lived in the Prairies in Canada for most of my life. Lots of friends easy going, no problems. Then 4 years ago I moved to Richmond, this suburb outside of Vancouver. It has been nearly impossible to make friends! I am all for multiculturalism but like you I am minority living in an all Asian family oriented suburb, and everyone pretty much keeps to themselves. Unless you've experienced something like this its hard to understand it. I used to believe the saying "people are people" wherever you go. But I don't anymore. I think their are pockets, places where because of the demographics (not to blame any one culture or ethnicity) its really hard to fit in, especially if your single. My parents moved to the same province about 5 hours from me and they love it. Where they are is full of retired people just like them. I went a saw a counsellor from work and she told me to move, either to a different suburb or to another part of the city or to a different city altogether. I know that may not be the best solution for you. But anyway, I hear ya!!!!!

Jill:)

Thanks Jill for the support. I’m glad to hear you understand where I’m coming from. Ethnicities tend to stick with there own kind, which I’m fine with but it really makes it harder for the minority to be social and interact when youir regarded as the outsider.

This can’t be more apparent than with latins. If you come to Miami you’ll see first hand how the city is comprised of the latin culture (there’s no doubt about it). The bad part is it’s become so much that it’s gotten to the point where they’re starting to expect that everyone that comes to Miami should speak Spanish. It’s a complete and utter lack of respect for this country and for the American culture. It’s really frustrating. I hate to sound like a bigot; I’m all for one who is proud of their own race and culture but just don’t forget where you live and to at least try and soak up some of America’s culture and what America has to offer…

Highoctanerock i am glad that you are looking into activities. Are there any out of the way bars that place more rock music? i am sure there are little places that you can go to that might be more your style. keep searching, you’ll find a good place where you fit in, its tough but it just takes time. And i like the craigslist idea for a band, that could work.

Hey Highoctanerock:
Try to go to Nikki beach, mansion, tobacco road,Space3, nocturnal, karu etc..

They are HUGE and don't gather an Spanish speaking community I don't like to go to some of those places because there goes SO MUCH people it's annoying.( NOt a whole in the wall.)

On other hand, my friends over here are a weird mix of blacks, white , Hispanics, Jewish, male, female, older, and young group. I guess that you need to learn to live with different people around you, , don't be judgmental, and try to be happy with the world around you.
Don't be so hard on yourself or others, just try to enjoy what the Lord put on your hand.

I like Bipolardads suggestion too craigslist, its another option.

Ohhhvictor, nice try though, the rest of us out there are listening even if I am California.

Highoctaner & Jill thanks for helping us to realize the reality of your experiences.

Dear friend, it is interesting, sometimes you can be in the middle of the crowd and feel lonely. It is not easy to live when you do not have a support of people that are close to you. When you can, check newspaper for bands seeking music players for their groups. Music is good for your soul. You will make it. God bless you always. Have faith.

Ha! Seriously Victor you wouldn't last 6 months in my suburb!

Really ?
I 've been living on the country side, black ghettos, Hispanics ghettos ( Miami) ,Brazilian favelas,big cities, small towns, several countries, etc..
I am not scared of people, places or races Orion..
I don't know what are you talking about..I am 40 y/o now.. Should I start getting scared?

Seems to me you’ve spent a lot of time living in Miami (Hispanic ghettos), Brazilian favelas so forth; but for someone that isn’t afraid of people your sure making a good effort to avoid the American neighborhoods…