Looking for advice and support!

Hey everyone! This is my first post and I just want to give a little background info on myself. I recently packed up all of my belongings, my entire life, and moved thousands of miles away from my friends in family. I moved with my boyfriend and we are happy and are really enjoying our new life. One thing that causes me a lot of stress is my compulsive overeating. I used to binge-purge, but overcame the purge part a couple years ago. I always vow to stop, read books, set up diet plans, but what I feel I lack is real live support from people. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I have not expressed to him my problem with eating. At work I eat and eat and eat (I work the night shift, so not many people around). During the day I'm home alone so I eat and eat and eat. I am afraid to tell my boyfriend about this problem, but I feel I need to in order to recover. He previously dated a girl who was treated for anorexia and bulima and he broke up with her cuz she was quote: "nuts". I am afraid of what he will think of me, especially afraid that he will break up with me when we are both so far away from our homes. I know I need to talk to him about this, I know it will either make or break our relationship. I keep vowing to overcome it on my own and tell myself if I do that then I won't ever have to bring it up to him. My mom and older sister both had eating disorders and I know I'm predisposed to this genetically and because of a difficult past (parents divorce, both parents alcoholics). Any support or advice would be much appreciated!!

Hi, just welcoming you to the group. :)

I hope you can work things out and tell your boyfriend. After 4 years I'm sure he wouldnt' suddenly in a moment see you as 'nuts'.

*hugs* if you want them.

i would definitely say tell him. if he cannot see who you really are then how can he say he loves the real you. you are not nuts you have a disease and behavior that may be overwhelming but it is definitely not nuts.
start with baby steps and find new ways to find support to help you before you let him know but i wouldn't wait too long if you've been together 4 years.
if he has been with someone with an eating disorder he may already sense that your eating is disordered and maybe wants to talk about it too who knows?
be safe and feel the support of us in the group

You are not nuts. Maybe the last girl had a different set of problems but you are NOT HER!! You have been together for 4 years so I don't think that is what he is going to say to you about your problem. I do know however that it is difficult for others to understand.

For instance I have trigger foods and with the few people that I do tell about my issues I explain to them that I can't eat something not because I don't want to get fat, but because I know I can't stop myself from eating the entire container if I start. So I say "Would you offer a recovering alcoholic a martini one day out of rehab?"

There are ways that you can talk to you boyfriend about this but I think maybe you should go talk to a professional first and learn the best ways to present it. But at the end of the day he can support you but he can't cure you. You have to love yourself and want to change. You deserve happiness and to not live in this secret all alone!

i've told my parents and my two best friends about my ED. it is one of the most terrifying things i have ever done. i have not found the strength to ask them for help when i really need it yet, but i am working on it. but i do know no one can beat an ED without the support of people who love them.
if your boyfriend really loves you and you are meant to be with him, he will help you work through this and it will only make your relationship stronger. if he dumps you because you are "nuts", then he isnt the great guy you thought he was.
best of luck and i'll send good thoughts your way