I understand that this may make people angry and I've gone through it with everyone I thought were my friends. What I'm looking for is information on a support group or others going through what I'm going through. I'm lesbian. About 3 years ago I decided that wanting a family is also who I am. I stopped having relationships with women and started looking to get married and start a family. I now have a new son and wouldn't change having him for anything. I've been honest with everyone about whats going on though ignoring half of who I am is more difficult than I thought it'd be. But acting on being a lesbian would force me to live without the family I always wanted. I'm wondering if there are support groups that anyones heard about for people going through what I'm going through.
Hi Crazychik, although I am not going through what you are going through, I am here to offer my help and support in any way that I can. May I ask if you are currently married, because you mentioned marriage and children? And, is this why you feel like you can't act on being a lesbian? Thank you. Please know that we are here for you and here to support you in any way that we can.
I am going through something very similar, and have been terrified to post here, or speak too much of anyone about it. I am married with three children. Fell deeply in love with my best friend which launched me into more soul searching than I have ever done (and I have done a lot, in and out of counseling). I do not want to leave my family, and my husband understands where I am coming from because he spent several years before we were married "figuring out" his sexuality. I grew up Catholic and stifled ALL thoughts of women. As an adult who is much more self-aware, I realize that it is a real part of me that people would not welcome in my life. My husband IS supportive and loving. He wants me to know myself and who I am. On the flip side. I have no intention of cheating, and my best friend, while fine with my loving her so intensely, does not have romantic feelings for me. I am broken-hearted and feeling like an evil person for not being able to tell my heart to let her go, despite the real devotion and love I feel with my family. I am loyal, I am honest, and I am not someone who lacks control. I really need someone who can walk through these things with me without reading me a riot act about irresponsible thoughts, etc. I know this is not ideal, but I have not done anything irrational, nor do I want to. Willing to lend an ear to anyone who knows remotely how this feels. Need to feel as though I am not alone: living as a wife and mom/knowing that I love a woman I cannot have. The feelings are as different as night and day, and eating me up inside. :(
I can understand how you feel crazychick and alice. I know many women who are lesbian and either living with their husbands or on good terms with them. It happends more often than not. It is just not talked about for reasons that people automatically make us bi after that. I am one of those people who believe we can be lesbian and still be in a relationship with men. It does not mean we are bi at all. I have often be accused of being bi for that reason. I was never married but did have a long term relationship with a man but I am lesbian.
I hope you are happy crazychick, and that you continue to be a happy mom to your son. It is difficult but you are you and that means you a wonderful person..........period. What difference does it make if you are living as lesbian or being happy as a lesbian and living otherways. I am celebate and happy. Take comfort in knowing you are loved by your son and accepted by those of us who understand. I hope you find a support network to help you cope. But for now, you have support here too.
Take good care and have an awesome weekend. Hugs :)
MaggyMay
Stay true to who you really are. Appease no one but yourself. Everything else will fall into place.