This is my first time here so here`s where I am at now.
Me and my husband are currently seperated now for almost a month but he has been pulling away from me for about 2
yrs but mostly in the last 2 to 3 months it has grown worst. I believe he suffering from addiction. I`m pretty sure. It started when he lost his job about 2yrs ago and he really hasnt made much of affort to find another. His son stop seeing him as well. I have supported him and tried to encourage him and even help line up some jobs for him to show my support. It was with temp agency but it was something. He worked for them 3 times and that was it. Now I realize its due to he is addicted to Meth and what ever else. He has treated me as if I am nothing to him we were speaking on some what of bases due to have some personel business that must be address before we can file for divorce. He said that he wasnt going to leave me high and dry but he has. He shut off his cell phone and wont take anyones calls I dont where he is staying or with whom. All I want is to really get him out of my life and I can not right now and its driving me crazy!!!
I feel like his little puppet on a string. I just dont understand why people are so fake and how they can shut off there feeling for someone like that. I realize that his mind is not thinking clearly on its own with drugs but it still doesnt make it any easier for me now left behind to still take care of everything bills, our 3 dogs and so on. I am just looking for support for those who are dealing with the same feeling of hurt and abandonment.
Hi 4real person,
This is my first day here as well. I'm here for a few reasons.. I list my job about 9 months ago, and last night I lost a pet that I had for 13 years unexpectedly.
I'm sorry to hear about your marriage. I am sure that is not an easy thing to have to go through. Maybe you are better of this way though.
I use to smoke a little weed when I was younger but nothing really more then that. Meth is another thing entirely. I have seen documentaries on that and it literally makes you crazy.
One day about 12 years ago I decided I had enough with pot, and with my so called friends who did it, and other things. My best friend actually, that I had known for 10 years at a party one night came after me with a knife for no reason while on pot, alcohol, and whatever else. He backed me up and pushed me into the door breaking the window. It was then I woke up and realized that people who do drugs are not the type of people I want to associate with ever again. They are not thinking clearly and for the most part are selfish people.
I have never been married but I can relate to how you feel as far as people being fake. As you said it could just be the drugs. I know you probably don't want to leave him for the kids sake, but you should also consider he may not stop the drugs. You need to do what is best for you and the kids.
hi 4real person, i can relate to your pain, for i too am going thru a seperation and a divorce. my wife had me removed from my home 3 weeks ago and i havent seen my 6 yr old son since then, she is acusing me of being a violent person and so far the courts are believing her, she has a bad gambling problem and i am her excuse that she is fine she puts all the blame on me, i am so lost its unbelievable, i cry every day and i know this isnt normal for a man to do, i just want to be loved and wanted and i have been betrayed so i know how you feel in your situation i can only tell you there are alot of good people here to give great advice, i have had alot of response to my posts, please read them, and alot of good advice, i feel i dont always listen i guess i am still in denial thinking i will wake up to this dream, stay strong they say time heals everything, i hope i can be a friend to you and we can talk about each of our situations have a blessed day john
John,
Sorry to hear about your marriage. I am sure you must have been upset with her for gambling. I would have been to, but that’s not the same as being violent.
Can you appeal the restraining order?
I know first hand how bad a gambling addiction can be. Back in 96 after my mother passed away I started going to a Casino in Niagara Falls (2 hours from my home). Before long I was going there every week. I would go even though I knew there was a 90% chance I would loose all my money. I would literally loose my whole paycheck there. Thankfully I finally came to my senses after a few months and stopped going there. I talked to people while i was there who had lost their homes, and were in huge amounts of debt, but, they kept going back. It is a very serious addiction.
I hope things get better for you.
Take Care,
Ed
Thank you for the encouragement. Just to know that you are not the only one who has these feelings. I to want to find someone real. Someone who works when things get hard not turn to substances to cope. I want someone who is really ready to love someone for real. I dont have any kids. But we have 3 dogs who are like my kids. I cant have children. I just dont understand how someone can throw away 12 years of marriage. We are still talking with each other but its on his terms and the only reason I am agreeing to this is because I need him to complete something in order to insure my future so I am at his mercy. I hate and love him at the sametime. I love the man I was with for 10years but this monster I have lived with for the last 2 years has made me lose who I am and I am trying to find her again. I know that I will it just takes time. I just hope when I finally must let go that I will be able to let go. And not think of him as the man I loved before.
BigJohn,I cant image how you must be missing your son. But fight for your right to be in his life. He needs a Dad. I miss seeing my stepson. But I have no right to him.
I know that someday each of us will look back on our hard times and appreciate what we went through to make us stronger people. My prayers with each of you.
hi
The addiction to meth will ruin everything he has, the addiction is so strong, you have to keep using it to feel good, which only lasts for a short time, he is not going to be able to save anything or anyone he has until he gets help, and there is not much you can do, as long as he is addicted, its a horrible drug, it destroys so many people, I would look at him as though he has a horrible illness, the drug is his wife, its all he cares about, and it just gets worse. Stay safe and get out!
An addict will do anything to protect their addiction thats why they are capable of thinking of noone but themselves. Good thing hes out of the home even though its painful on you in regards to the relationship being so one sided, I live that way & had to learn to STOP doing that to myself, its difficult but can be done over time if ones aware of it as you are now & can learn not to repeat it again in a future relationship. Please focus on YOU & not doing damage patrol for him, he will have to take responsibility for his choices & bad decisions that HE has created in life.
Take care of you.
April