Losing control

Last week I went to see my shrink after a long day at work. I work in a building that isn't air conditioned, and I restricted severely. Before I left his office, I became light headed, and he wouldn't let me leave without having a family member pick me up. He wants me to see my primary doc, which I feel is a waste of time. I am in a much better place when I restrict. I am worried that he is going to make me going a program this summer. I am not ready, and don't know that I even want it.



A program this summer might be the very best thing for you... I know that's not what you want to hear... But NO ONE is in a better place when they restrict. Your ED, of course, will tell you so. But it's a lie. Your body knows the truth. Your therapist was right to stop you from driving home while you were light headed. I know I have driven in that state. I have driven following such intense workouts that I was blinded by flashing lights in my line of sight, trying to see the road in the perifery of my vision. And still, my ED brain insisted that I was okay. COULD drive home. To think of how my doing so endangered not just ME, but everyone else on the road with me!! Yikes!!! I am not proud... And yet, I did not see this for the danger it was at the time... A starved brain simply can't see/think clearly. It's not your fault. But it's a fact... I really hope that you will allow your therapist to take the lead on this one... Listen to him, MK... He knows what's best... ♥

Love you, dear!


MK, I bet you don't wanna hear this but I agree with Jen. It's tough, it took me a while to realize that I needed to get help but you could do it! Listen to your therapist for now whose vision isn't blurred by ED. Hope you see him again.
Take care of yourself-

Mk...I understand how the ED causes you to believe you are in a better place when you restrict. You may feel calmer in some respects, but it's a false calm. You are truly in danger. I agree that getting more intense help is the best option for you. Please consider the long-term benefits! Take care...Jan ♥