I recently lost my sister suddenly. Its only been 10 days and already people expect me to be ok. I'm not, I understand everything that has happened is for a reason, I have all the right rationalizations in my brain,but my heart has a huge hole. I feel like i'm in a bubble I can't break out of. I still can't accept the fact she is gone. No one can tell me how to move on or whats the next step. I dread the Holidays. I know it will get easier, but its not just easy now. I feel lost without her in my life.
1 Heart
wow. i am very sorry about your loss. Nobody expects you to be ok. It probably feels like th because you are going through a lot of pain. Just know that you will be okay in time. Feel blessed because that you had her in your life. And remember that you didn't die with her. You are not dead so now you need to live for the both of you.
Onecent,
First, my condolences to you and your family. This may not mean much coming from a complete stranger, but my thoughts are with you. I can only imagine the grief you are experiencing.
Second, I must explain my background. I have grown up around death my entire life. Both sides of my family own and operate funeral homes, and I lived above a funeral home for a majority of my life thus far. Needless to say, I have a unique knowledge of death and grieving.
Now, I have not lost a sister, but I have lost close friends and family members. Death is not an easy thing to get past. It will take time and effort to heal this wound, but I know that you will find the strength to pick up the pieces to your life one step at a time. I believe you should cut yourself a bit of slack. It has ONLY been 10 days since your sister passed. That is hardly enough time to heal.
No one can tell you what the next step is, but try taking each day one step at a time. I feel one of the biggest challenges with death is the idea that one must "move on" implying to leave their loved one behind. I completely disagree with this. Instead, I believe you can move forward with this person. I know that sounds a bit crazy, but what I mean is don't be afraid to move forward from this tragedy. You don't have to forget your sister but bring the memories of her along with you.
Also, I believe it is very important for you to talk about your sister. I've found most people just want to talk about the their lost loved ones. I know I do, but others become uncomfortable when I did. Most people don't know what to say to someone in grief, but all they really need to do is listen. That's what I'm here for. I understand sometimes it just feels good to be able to talk about your sister. Whether it be good or bad, I'm here to listen to you talk about your sister.
hon
the advice u have been given is good so use it, sometimes its hard to understand why things happen but they do and im sure people dont want you to move on at any pace other than your own but it is hard to know what to do when u are on the outside looking in,
recently my sister in law died and my other half cant speak about her yet, the pain is too raw so he is like a ghost about the house, but the children who have lost an aunt always chat about her and what it means now she isnt here so they are coping much better than he is, he needs time to process the situation and come to terms with his loss, his real fear of mortality and how he can function again
just keep doing things one day at a time and things will improve with time
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Very sorry to hear about your loss. Its never easy to lose someone you love. I can relate to you. I just lost my daugher 4 weeks ago from today. I was 6 1/2 months pregnant with her when they told me her heart stopped beating. Its never an easy thing to go through. I get the same feeling as you that everyone expects me to just move on and I can't. My thoughts and prayers are with you and hope that over time it will get a little easier.
brinleigh
hon my heart goes out to u in these circumstances its often not that people want u to move on its just they dont know what to say
have u seen the doc for a quick check up so that u dont have any other problems during this time, its ok to say that u just need people to listen to u and talk about whatever u wish to chat about
u do come thru the other side of still birth although it takes time, my second eldest has had one and it took almost two years for her to get herself right again
take one day a time
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
I did have a lot of test done on me and the baby. However, none of them have come back yet. I don't have an apt. scheduled yet but will be going for a check up very soon.
hon
im glad u are having medical help to find the cause this wont change the situation but could/should bring u comfort in the following few weeks
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
I am very sorry for your loss. Wish you the strength to get through the tough times now and ahead.
I have been through a similar tragedy, and will say that it does get easier in time, but it really takes a few months for everything to sink in. 10 days is still very much a state of shock...
Be well,
Tom