Lost the only friends I had because they couldn't understand anything I was going through and they thought I was too much to handle, even when I gave them a warning about being friends with me.
I get how you feel, ive been through that and it sucks. just hang tight i promise youll find that one super good friend who is there.
Iv been exactly where you are now, many times. Its a horrible thing that happens, but it also shows you who is real and who is fake. You are not to much to handle you just haven't found the right people or person who is willing to work through it all with you and love you through it. There are people out there who want to be there for you and who will love you through it all, you just have to keep your head above the water and keep fighting through all these others, learn your lessons from each of them and you will get to the true friends. I know its hard but it is worth it.
No offense but i dont think you lost very much if they dipped when things got hard. I mean a friend sticks by you no matter what thick and thin. I think you shouldnt worry about those "people" that ditched you because youre going through a hard time. Ive had so many people in my own life do that that it litterally doesnt even bother me most of the time now. Who cares if somebody is that **** shallow and that impatient that the moment you need them they dissapear. Who cares? Let them go in your heart and dont blame yourself for how other people act you cant control that. Just keep going and i promise you WILL find your true friends and people who stick by you no matter what.
I feel your pain and am going through the same, exact thing. My best friend or supposed best friend. What I have realized is this. I am not sure the longevity of your friendships, but my best friend since age 10. I am learning now that we were friends by chance, not choice and now, many, many years later I realize that we really don't have that much in common b/c if we did, she would be by my side as I would be hers in a heartbeat if she was going through anything and I have so many times in the past. My friend is using what I am going through to alienate me from her problems as if to say "I can't even come to you now b/c of what you are going through" however, she not only hasn't been there for me, but the second she actually shared a recent problem with me, I was responding support within seconds. My therapist said she is selfish and that looking back, we have been friends for years by chance and now, it makes sense. I always had a TON of friends and am incredibly social. I have ONE friend by my side through this nightmare and it's more than enough b/c it's genuine. You don't have to understand what someone is going through to be a friend to them. That is complete b/s. All you have to do is let a friend know you love them, you are there for them and even if it's a daily text to say "hi", it means so much. I am sorry and hope you know that you are not alone feeling how you are feeling.