Well, yesterday my therapist told me that she contacted someone at Remuda Ranch Inpatient program and gave her a little background info on me and asked a few questions about inpatient treatment. The lady said based on what she was telling her, she agreed that I needed to come to inpatient as soon as I could. My therapist agreed. Told me she would give me to week to call the lady back because she wanted to speak with me.
I called her today. Extremely nice lady. She got my insurance information, I asked her I had a friend there named Ashley and she said she even KNEW her and had worked with her before! How cool?! She said she would call my insurance and someone from their financial department would call me later today.
So a few minutes ago I get a call from another very nice woman, but to deliver the news that my insurance has NO BENEFITS to cover any treatment program for me. CRUSHED! I don't even know why considering I hadn't even REALLY convinced myself to go to treatment. The lady said that there is a good chance they could give me a discount on some of the cost but it would have to be my MOM to call and work that out with her. EEEEKKKK not okay !
I haven't yet. I know I should probably call her, and I may this weekend. I'm just frustrated. I also found out yesterday that I DIDN'T get accepted into my degree program at school this fall!!! what the hell? I did EVERYTHING how I was supposed to, kept good grades, made good scores on my entrance test..or I thought. Major feelings of failure? Disappointment? Definately.
I'm struggling so bad. I really really don't know how much longer my body can hold up.
Please call your therapist right away... Eating disorders are so easily triggered by feelings of failure, stress, etc... Kasee, you have NOT failed!! These programs are competitive, and I'm sure they're limited to a certain number of spots. Don't panic, sweetie... I know you must be terribly disappointed... Please contact your advisor and discuss the results with him/her... See if there's anything you can do to improve your chances for the next semester. You can DO this! ♥
Thanks for your support Jen. Unfortunately I can't even reapply for the program until NEXT fall. So that puts me with a YEAR not having a clue what to do. I do feel alot like I'm failing so bad. Thank you for listening to my rant. Thinking of you also.
Really it's great to meet with your advisor anyway. :) Maybe you can knock out some of the requirements this year. Plus that could give you a boost in your application next fall. Don't count yourself out, dear. NOT a failure! ♥
Kasee....honey, I am sorry for the disappointment you are feeling. Maybe this next year can be devoted to reclaiming your health and to healing? That is certainly not for me to determine, but please keep your needs in mind.
I am so sorry about your insurance.
Sooner or later your Mom will have to know. She just will. If RR doesn't work out, there has to be another option. I agree that it's important for you to let your therapist know about this new information.
I know you are a distance away, but the center where I work, the River Centre Clinic, is very cost effective, especially compared to someplace like RR. I would be happy to talk to you about our program if you like. You could also check out the website at www.river-centre.org, and fill out the initial information form (it's completely confidential), and I can check on your insurance coverage on our end.
Whatever the case, I am praying for you, and I believe you can beat this! Take care Kasee....Jan ♥
ive heard of thatt.
and i made a call too.
but my insurance didnt cover anything either.
heres two places u could look into if u want,
center for change and mercy ministries are really good.
my friend is at mercy right now.
mercy ministries is at many locations including tennessee and california i think.
center for change is in nevada.
Kasee I am so sorry that happened with your insurance... and you are by NO means a failure!! You have so much going on, it may be good to take off a year and just take care of yourself, as hard as that sounds now :/
Keep your head up, I'm thinking of you!
CC
Mrs. Jan, Thank you so much for offering all of your help and support. I think I may call my therapist today and see what she says. I may check out the place where you work and bring it up to her to see what she says.
Brandi, Thank you for offering your help and advice! I have looked into Mercy before and I will definately check out the other one! Please take care!
CC, I am thinking of you as well! Thank you for your kind words and trying to convince me I'm not a failure! I am trying so hard not to believe that I am, but it is hard! I love you dear!
Molly, Your thoughts and prayers mean more to me than you know! Your encouragement is always always a blessing to me! I love you too!
I'm hoping that the first lady I talked to from RR calls back today so I can talk with her about what to do next. I may also call my therapist and see what she has to say after I hear from her. I'm really struggling with those thoughts of "See you don't really need this. Things aren't that bad. It's stupid that you would even think you need treatment." ahhh it's a constant war in my head that I definately feel like I'm losing.
I'm not totally giving up...not yet. But I am just struggling to hold on.
Kasee...thinking of you sweetie! You DO need help! Just ask yourself if this is really how you want to live your life...or not? You do deserve to be happy and to live a full life....go get it girl!!! HUGS...Jan
How ya doin? What’s going on? Sorry I have missed a lot it seems. Some how and some way I hope it will work so you can go inpatient. It will feel safe and a relief once you get some much needed and much deserved treatment. Please don’t give up! Keep writing, what’s making it hard for you right now?
Hey thanks for your response surrender. I dont know just this battle in my head right now. These thoughts. They are seriously driving me crazy! And now there is alot going on with my family. I want to fix them, I want to make things better, but I know I can't. And it's driving me crazy. I just feel like such a failure with everything.
Just remember you can’t change other people but you can change how you react and cope with these stressors. I know it’s hard. So the thoughts. I hear you, I don’t know the exact thoughts you are battling right now but I can kind of guess what they might be and I totally understand. I am battling some of my own demons right now. May have the courage to write more later. You are definitely not a failure. We all struggle in this life, we all want to do well, bring goodness to others and sometimes we really lose sight of how to take care of ourselves because we are caught up with the thoughts and with wanting to please/change/fix others. You are a gift to this world; please take good care of yourself! Can you hear what the thoughts are saying? Can you share? And are you able to combat them with at least one good nurturing thought or action? I challenge you to that! Namaste
Im sorry to hear that your still struggling.Im praying that something works out for you with your insrance Im frustrated for you also about that.I have been in the spot you are in I didnt think I needed treatment you head feels like there is a war going on inside b/c DEEP inside You know you need treatment but the ED voices dont want you to think its what you need.
Everyone here knows you do and I think you do too.
So Im ENCOURAGING YOU to FIGHT for what you KNOW you need.I will pray that treatment will happen for you.
You've had a lot of good advice already... I'll just say again that you can't fix your family. I know you want to! I know!! But Surrender is absolutely right; the only thing you have the power to affect is your own reaction. That's a simple thing for me to say, but an incredibly complex thing to DO... I know... Learning that can take years... I'm still working on it. ;0) But if you work on it, you CAN learn... They are your family. You will always love them. But you cannot be responsible for them. You can help, if helping doesn't mean losing yourself. But you can't give and give and give without giving to yourself. You're sick right now, dear heart... YOU need help! I love your giving spirit, but right now you can NOT help them... You MUST learn that it's GOOD to take care of YOU. ♥
heya
Ur status says u want to make God smile.. So i trust ur a believer.. He does smile upon you beautiful girl.. and you need to TRUST HIM to work things out with remuda if He wants you there, if not there will be something even better for you!
Hang in there
if all else fail i know a great place totally free of charge, hopefully there is one near you
www.mercyministries.org is one based on God, if ur not a christian even you dont have to be obviously...
Can you hear what the thoughts are saying? Can you share? And are you able to combat them with at least one good nurturing thought or action? I challenge you to that! Namaste