well im not talking to my mom or sister anymore because they both think it is ok that i was sexually assaulted and taken advantage of by 2 different men. one being an ex brother in law and his best friend. my sister went back to her exhusband and slept with him knowing what he did to me and is now messing around with his friend that took advantage of me when i was 16. to say the least i have been emotionally abused by my family from this situation and i am taking a stand and saying no more. im done feeling like it is my fault, im done crying. i literally puked up my lunch day i was so upset. this is horrible. my real dad has never been in my life and now my mother isnt so to say the .least i am sad and feel alone. how horrible is it that your own family dont support you.i have to move on because this will tear me down emotionally and i cant let that happen.
Oh my goodness Ashley, I am so very sorry for what has been going on with your mom and sister, that's absolutely awful. They will regret their actions one day, though you shouldn't have to wait around for that to happen. You have a beautiful, loving and supportive family of your own, and that's a huge blessing in and of itself. I know how important family is in our lives, though if they are destructive and not willing to support you through something so devastating, then it's better to walk away and not look back. Please know that you are not alone, you have your beautiful daughters and loving husband. You also have me and all of us here who love and care for you very much.
I really wish that I could take all of your pain away. I am praying for you and sending you tons and tons of positive energy. I am always here for you. Love you.
Oh Ashley, Puppy is right, you have all of us here and we all love you and care for you so very much!!
I am just so sorry you are having to go through this AGAIN! As if it wasn't terrible to have gone through and now to have them dismiss it feels like another assault. I am truly so sorry.
I do pray that they will see the error in their ways soon, but you can't wait for that as you have the right to move forward with integrity and confidence in your ability to stand up for yourself.
We are so proud of Ashley (our supportgroups sister), in not allowing it to be ok anymore!!! You are very strong and a rolemodel for the other young women here!! You are someone I would want my daughters and sons to hang out with!
Ashley, what you've done is made you a part of the solution and for that I and every other woman, says thank you!!
Sending understanding hugs, Suzee
puppy and suzee you brought tears to my eyes from your kind words, i love you guys too. it means so much to me that you ladies think so much to me. i look at my daughters and couldnt imagine putting them through what my family has putten me through.their my world and i would never want to put them through the pain i have been put through. your both right i have to let go. it is tearing my nerves up im to the point i cant hold anything down when this is going on. i dont like to feel so awful. i have a long road ahead of me ladies. i am pressing charges. so i have a feling the emotional roller coaster is far from over. :(
Sweet Ashley, what you've said about your daughters made me smile and feel warmth in my heart. This world will have your daughters in it who will have already been taught about self esteem and bounderies by seeing your resolve to press charges against a terrible crime. Thank you for that. Together is the only way we can fight these terribly life altering assaults.
I know your journey through this will not be smooth, that's the truth. BUT, your words will be spoken for many who can not. It's important that those of us who can stand and fight, do so. Next Tuesday I begin testifying in court for the first time. I'm scared, but not one bit doubting my decisions. What **** doesn't understand is that him making me testify means the county will have the right to charge him too. But does it really surprise us that people like this never tell the truth??!!
We are so much in your corner you might be feeling crowded and I'm sorry about that but my dogs refuse to leave my side so it's actually them taking up too much space. Be careful as well because the only way you are in danger with my dogs, is if you have a sandwich in your hand!!
hehehe
Love you Ash, Suzee
dear suzee i hope all goes well for with court on the ****. you and puppy and kathy are truly like family on here to me as well as melissa.tonight i told the man who took advantage of me ex wife that him and my sister are messing around. she said that it devastated her children when it first happened and if they were messing around again that he wouldnt be able to see his children because the children are upset about the situation. so she told him that and he told my sister that he doesnt want to see her no more. well my sister got mad and called my other sister and said some hateful things about me and said i just dont want her to be happy and tht i have a wonderful life and why should i care about something that happened years ago. to say the least my other sister got mad and told her a thing or two. its nice to know i have someone in the family who cares. its not that i dont want my sister to be happy i just want her to quit messing around with the men who did this to me,its not right. my mom talked to an attorney today from what my sister said that i talk to. she said that the attorney told her that my sister would get jail time to because they provided alcohol to a miner. i dont want my sister to get in trouble i just want her to realize what they did was wrong and stop blaming me. i dont know girls its a mess. these men shouldnt get away from doing this and im not the only victim. there are 3 others besides me. when i talked to the police they said he will eventually get caught. i know that when it comes time for me to go to court they ar going to try to make me look bad and all i can do is pray to god that he will help them see the situation for what it is.
oh ya and suzee i would have a blast feeding your dog! i love animals they are so sweet and loyal. kisses to the poochies. :)
Hi Ashley, how are you doing and feeling today about everything going on with your family? Are you feeling more at ease and peace? A Buddhist monk, who was my spiritual guide for many years, always told me to send love to those who hurt me. The love is positivity to combat the negativity of the hurt that others inflict. I know that it's not easy, but it's much easier then carrying the heavy weight of the negative feelings. Once I would send someone love and wish them the best, I would feel that weight lifted. It really releases you. I have been practicing this for years and it truly helps me so much. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. I am sending you tons and tons of positive energy.
hi puppy how do you do that? sounds interesting
Hi Ashley, it's not always easy and I really need to work hard to come to a place of peace with a situation and look at it from a different perspective in order to do so. I pray a lot and ask for guidance, as well as clarity. Sometimes I don't get the clarity so all that I can do is start to send love and that alleviates the heaviness on my soul. I repeatedly send love and peace to the person(s), and that in and of itself really helps bring peace over me.
Puppy, that is so cool! I just think you are an incredibly beautiful human being. This world is definately a better place, just because you are in it!!!! I am going to do my best to adopt sending love and peace.. it might take me a while though, and occasionally I might be sending something QUITE different than love and peace... but I'll do my best!! hehehe
How are you doing today Ashley? I've been thinking about you and sending prayers. My daughters as well are sending prayers!!
Sending big hugs, Suzee
puppy that is a wonderful idea! i agree with suzee you make this world a better place. thank you suzee to you and your daughter for the prayers. my mom and i are still not talking been 2 weeks. i feel some peace in my soul though. i guess it was something that needed to be dealt with so this heartache could heal.my mother never wanted me or cared about me and i know that.i think the only reason why she even half way raised me is because she is afraid of the law.just like with the situation with me being assaulted she is freaking out thinking i want her to go to jail because she didnt report it to the police.where she gets her crazy ideas i dont know. i am strangley starting to feel at peace without her in my life.
Oh my goodness Suzee and Ashley, I am so touched by your wonderful words to me, they brought happy tears to my eyes. Thank you so very much! And please know how much you two mean to me; I feel beyond blessed to have you two in my life. You lift my spirit and fill my heart with so much joy from all of your love and support.
Ashley, I am so happy to hear that you are in a more peaceful place regarding your mother. I know that it will get easier and better with time. I am praying for you.
Suzee, you are too funny and made me laugh out loud. Trust me, sometimes I want to send something other than peace and love to those that hurt me deeply and it takes time to get to a place where I can genuinely send them peace and love.
I was sexually abused several times. I can't remember which time was the first time. It seems that after the first one, the others just followed right after. My uncle, my neighbors were just some of the perpetrators. I think the first-time I must have been between the ages of 4 and 5 and the last when I was 13...I think.
The effects in my life have been numerous. Low self esteem, compulsive behavior, codependency, even becoming a perpetrator myself. I was very young, I just mimicked what I was going through.
Although I know that it wasn't my fault, I still have feelings of guilt and shame, which I believe fuels my codependency, compulsive behavior, etc.
I hope I can someday forgive myself and move on. I am now 33 and the memories never seem to leave me. In fact. I have recently began to remember others that were forgotten due to the intense pain and shame that caused the abuse.
i have actually heard that people can block out bad memories. i am sorry to hear that you had that happen to you. it is not your fault. i hope that you can find some kind of healing as i am trying to find mine also. it is a long and hard road.
Lola, I am so very sorry to hear about what you have been through. Please know that we are here for you and here to help you through this. Have you ever talked to a therapist?
From Mood Disorders to Bipolar Disorder