Well, someone on here said they would help me be accountable to my meal plan and I am grateful to her...
I could use all of the help that I can get!
Right now, I am having trouble eating my main foods so I am limited but I try to put something together... With my thinking on health (my orthorexia, my eating disorder that tells me to modify my diet based on what I'm eating), and my gastritis, it's kicking my meal plan's bootie! I'm afraid to have certain things, but in some ways, I know that I should just "try" to do the whole thing (in my experience) and use whatever OTC and dr's meds recommend... It's just that I just caught one of my thoughts about OTC stomach aids, "well, that's not natural...", might as well just limit my food choices and not take it, right?
Hi Steeni, you are doing a great job, it's all about taking control of those thoughts and wiping them out of your mind all together. Replace those thoughts with the healthy happy thoughts and suggestions that your doctor recommended. Please stay on track and you will be better and stronger on the other end of this. It's just getting you through this little phase. We are here for you; you are not alone.
Thank you!
steeni, there is a reason that you sought professional help for your ED. because no matter how much you might know about healthy eating or generally being healthy it has taken on an extreme way of thinking (and feelin) that you can no longer trust. with ED logic doesnt matter anymore and that's why we have to rely on listening to someone who is not all subjective about what goes into our bodies.
maybe make yourself a big list of reasons why you should stick to your meal plan and why you were recommended these specific foods and ways of eating. attack it with objectivity!! this will beat your ED in the long run!
could you as well journal a bit about how you feel with this meal plan (and otherwise)? simply to get your feelings out and see later how realistic they are?
love
maedi
Okie, I will try this… 
Steeni, how are you doing today? Just checking in to make sure you're ok.
Thank you!
Okay, I'm going to eat my late night snack, I keep forgetting it.
maybe set yourself an alarm to remind you? mobile phones can really be useful at times :-)
keep up the good work steeni and let us know how things go!
xxx
Thank you! Well, I ate my snack tonight... A little bit of a strange snack... Strange because it wasn't standard for me... A little extravagant for me...
I'm going to try and keep at it... I have a medical test coming up on Tuesday that they told me to fast a day before, I'm hoping that that doesn't throw me off... Also someone told me to pray and fast to ask God to heal my eyes... I just figure I'll combine the two...
Also, doing a little bit better after I called my GI doctor's office and they told me that I could eat a bit more expanded diet and that what he said, really meant I could "sometimes" have these things... This guy is not good news for my emotional anorexia, I don't think...
Also, doing a little bit better after I called my GI doctor's office and they told me that I could eat a bit more expanded diet than what the dr said, they said he really meant I could "sometimes" have certain things... This guy was not good for my emotional anorexia, I don't think... Also, I don't know what to do in the future when I hear junk like I heard from that dr and start running with it in a bad direction mentally...
Also, thank you guys for your support, I needed it! I feel so loved on here! :)
is there anyone else (professional or friend) who you could ask for a second opinion or more understanding and logical response to counteract such triggering input? or think about what you would advice us on here if we were told such things? we can always be more logical and distant to ED thoughts when we think abot others so tra apply the same rules to yourself!!
and well done for having the snack :-)
xxx
I totally agree with Maedi; is there anyone else that you can talk to and get a second opinion from. I think that it's so important that you have someone guiding you both physically and psychologically. You need emotional support now, it's very important. And, I am so happy to hear that you've been eating more, yay!
Please let us know how you're doing today?
Hey there! Well, wishing I had a psychologist now... Like, tomorrow is the day of the test, I don't feel comfortable with this dr and all as I don't feel "comfortable" around him... Yet, I still took all the medicine to prepare for the test which required the things I stated above, because I really was so obsessed with wanting to do that (fasting) because I had read about how this would help gastritis, and I feel responsible for contracting the gastritis because of the medicine I'm taking... So, due to my obsession with fasting and some strange sense of obedience, I have undermined my own intuition and am now going to go through with it tomorrow... There will be nurses in the room, but I still don't trust him. Oh well, I've done all this stuff and occurred the expense of the medicine, let's just pray that he does the right thing.
I'm going to work to get a food sponsor and an ED counselor, I'm just going to pray that I can find someone who will work on a sliding scale...
steeni, im glad you're going through with it and getting yourself properly checked out.
and defo do try to find a counselor, or any help you can get so keep us updated on that!
good luck for it all, especially tomorrow :-)
xxx
Steeni, I know that it's not easy for you, but I am so happy that you are going through with the testing. It's good that there will be nurses in the room with you so that you feel more comfortable. And, seeing a counselor is so fantastic. You are on the right path. Please let us know how everything progresses for you.