I haven't seen my second to oldest daughter for 3 months now; I hurt knowing she didn't call or come by on Mothers Day. I wish I could have her back. My youngest Son is in a Youth Center; I haven't been able to see him for over a month now; he hasn't called in a few weeks; I miss him very much and write him often. My oldest daughter has two babies and attending college; I am very proud of her, but miss spending time with her. My third daughter is getting married this month; I am so happy she has some one so inspiring and supportive and humorous. My oldest Son battles the 'viper' alcohol; I drop everything when ever he needs me, we are close. I have watched him struggle with court issues for a few years now, it's hard. My second oldest son is far more struggling the issues of alcohol and possibly other drugs, (I haven't seen the proof, but the evidence is there). I consistenly try to be encouraging and available for him. My 6th child, a girl, she is in love with an abusive, pathetic weak person. She does not do anything with the family and hates me for pushing us to attend counseling. Lately she drinks more and is high in school everyday. My baby girl; she has depression; she cuts herself; she runs away; distants herself from the family; has an eating disorder and wants to date. Yes, I have eight children...5 girls and 3 boys. This has all keeped me to be unhealthy. I have a hard time with life in general lately; I take one hour at a time. I don't know what I need; the counselor and psychiatrist tell me to take care of myself then I will be able to handle everything the way I used to. True I used to be strong more than a year ago; I am lost and very weak. What I found out myself was that I don't have a myself.......no myself time, no myself do my hair, no myself job, no myself take a walk, nothing.....I have always done for others-and enjoyed it very much...but I am sick, to the point that if I don't care for MYSELF, I will have to be taken care of by someone else. I think once I learn me again, all this will go away, huh! How can me looking great and feeling wonderful help all this mess? Do the courts go away; does the house clean itself; do the bills get paid themselves; does my car come back; do the sleepness nights of listening take control on there own? I do not see how I will ever have control, peace or health anymore.
dearest cr hun. oh my you do have lots on your plate. being an alcoholic myself (sober 6 plus yrs) the best thing you can do for your alcoholic children is let then clean up their own mess (not sure of the ages of your children) I have a daughter who was in the pshyc hospital 5 times with the cutting....last time i let her deal with the consequences.....she has not cut that way since. she is also bi polar and struggling with her sexuality. she is 23 and finally taking her own steps for recovery. we did the force her to go to therapy and it did'nt do anything....can't force them.....they will do if/when they are ready. painful to watch but nothing i can do. actually the best thing i can do and have done is to let her do her thing and handle her own consequences. over the years of my drinking i had people cleaning up my messes with the best of intensions but the best thing was to let me deal with me stuff and i did and here i am. you really do have to take care of yourself as children can suck the like out of you if you let them. (been there) very painful indeed. its hard to cut the cord because indeed they could drown.....are you gonna go down with them?? remember cr hun we are in survival mode. you must take care of you. i to am where you are...the last year mom committed suicide, i was caring for her for 2 years, 2 months later daddy died. in the midst of this mess i got seriously ill and the husband started to drink again....ugh...as i recover from my illness...who am i...where do i go from here...what life....my life always had a purpose, raising the daughter, caring for mother and this past year 99% bedridden. so as i recover....now what? no clue.....god will provide a path for me as i keep taking steps in the recovery direction.....yes i'm scared about me and my family members but remember as per a previous post.....sometimes in life you just have to do it afraid. like you i have never been as frail weak and helpless inmy whole life....we have to start somewhere and keep it simple dear cr....let me know if i can help in any way