It's been ten days since I had BJ arrested. Last night was the first time that I missed him and I think that is normal. We've been together off and on for over 22 years. It's funny how you remember the good times. That was easy to do, but the bad times I had to focus to remember. I realize that might be the reason that I would take him back. I have a writing pad that I have the good times on 1 side and the bad on the other side. The good out weighs the bad. BJ was 80% a wonderful husband, but that 20% was a killer in waiting. He is still in jail awaiting for his family to bail him out. I'm surprised that he is still there. His sister told me that she would be taking care of BJ from now on and for me to stay away. That was one day after he was arrested. I think now she had time to think about all the terrible things that her brother has done over the last 27 years. His family have the forgive and forget mentality. I HAVE THE FORGIVE BUT CAN'T FORGET. That's the only way I can stay safe and healthy.
hope you have an Order of Protection, if not, get one and stick to it. very easy to "forget" the bad and remember the fantasy of what we wanted. if his family is not supportive, spend less time w/ them. you'll need help for your recovery.
I agree with what andine said- very VERY easy to forget the bad if this has been the pattern for the last 22 years.
I bet, as you move on, re-evalutae your life, and grow as a person, that you will realise that that 80% is actually more like 8%
I agree w/ rosebelle.
I "forgot" that my ex was fired for trying to strangle his co-worker. I "forgot" that my boss slapped me across the face (more than once). I "forgot" that I grew up in fear of my brother. Can't always trust our memories when it's comes to abuse. :(