I was married for 11 years, always thought my husband was bipolar but no one would listen. He started acting really off the wall after last July when he had MRSA and Kidney failure. He Had dialysis and was in intensive care for three weeks. I took him to appts, had home health in three times a week and so forth. This January he beat and tried to strangulate my 33 year old daughter who has lupus and fibro and more. She is 100 percent military disabled and got baker acted and got out the next day. He was previously diagnosed by a specailist with dimentia and lewys body and psychosis. He shaved his hair off mid January and was behaving so bizarre I got a restraining order in fear. I gave him an ultimatium to get help by the 27th of January or it was over. On January 26th before the restraining order was served which he did not know was coming, he took an axe and hammer and came ramming into my den and said I told you it was over. I got out of the house , I was on the phone so the person on the phone heard me scream and called 911. He was in jail , go bail and then violated the injunction and ended up back for 40 days. He stayed with people that were not both of our friends, he didn't like them either and all of a sudden their bailing him out and helping him ?? and in March I had him served with divorce papers and he had a heart attack and was operated on ( no one called me with this I found out myself and had a pacemaker put in ) He was then taken to a mental institution and has been there for 8 weeks. His sons from prior marriage came got money , Power of attorney, withdrew me and left town. My husband had the social worker call me and say he was sorry and wanted to come home and loved me and she said he was sincere, that was two days after he was admitted to the institution. I am mad because he got help for someone else but not for the person that loved and took are of him. He gave up our life that we built together and now in the divorce wants everything of course. but here I sit loving him, missing him, knowing where he is and wanting to go ask why, I want to call his doctor and say what the ???? am I crazy for feeling this way or do I just move on and say he doesn't love me any more.
I also found him on the internet doing porn and communicating with another woman. He did not do that ever before by the way.
My sincere advice to you: take care of yourself and your life. He needs medical help, therefore do not rush with your decision, take time and according with his improvement, then decide your future with him or without. The situation is serious, needs proper consideration. Stay well and God bless you.
Hi Angels11,
I am so sorry that your husband put you through all of that. It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship on any level. Even if you love someone, you shouldn't allow them to abuse you. I am just now making plans to stop allowing myself to be abused, one way or another, counseling or leaving. Your husband seems unstable and I agree with the last post that he needs medical help. I am guessing that this relationship has taken a toll on your self esteem. If so, I suggest you do things to build your self esteem. I should follow my own advice too! Once you feel better about yourself, maybe you won't miss him so much because you may feel differently about yourself. I am saying this because I think that if I felt better about myself I wouldn't have accepted my fiance's behavior for the last 2 years. I have finally been making some new friends and had a tiny bit of improvement in my business due to some extra effort, and I finally feel like I have to do something about the abuse because I won't accept it anymore! I hope this helps. It's strange giving advise to a stranger. I hope I didn't overstep a boundry or say anything to upset you. Take care of yourself, you deserve to be treated with respect!
Laura-S
Hi,
I can relate to your situation. You are probably having these feelings because you are use to him being in your life. The hardest part is releasing him and moving on because of the hope of what use to be or the promises he made to you once upon a time. You have my support.