Missing the Simple Things In Life

I really miss feeling excited/happy about ANYTHING - Even the smallest things in life which gave me pleasure - like filling up my bird feeders outside and seeing all the birds swarm around them put a smile on my face - now the feeders hang empty and have for quite some time.

I miss just wondering around stores - especially Target - where I could just waste time looking around at every little thing - I'd go for a couple things and end up with way too much... but it took my mind off of things.

I miss going to the movies and looking forward to the popcorn and previews...

I miss feeling passionate about issues - issues I used to care so much about - but I'm so dead inside.

But right now I mostly miss FOOD. Food has always been my comfort when I get depressed. I LOVE food. Now I don't even eat anymore. I know one of my new medications has killed my appetite (I've lost 10 lbs in a week) - and I know that's not healthy - and believe me I WANT to eat - I keep thinking "If I could eat ANYTHING right now (that would make me happy if only for a moment - what would it be?" And I can't think ONE thing. So my last resort of happiness is now gone also.

To some this might sound pathetic - but when you're depressed you hold on to WHATEVER makes you happy for a tiny while.

I guess I just had to get that off my chest... I'm sure others might understand...

Do you know the source of your unhappiness? I understand, and have been depressed quite often...

Within the past year I lost my job, finished school (I went back after not completing it int he first place) - you would think that would have made me happy but when I finished I felt lost - then worst of all I lost my baby. I was almost four months pregnant and I lost my baby. I've been struggling ever since.

My depression started when I was a kid - I was physically and verbally abused by my mom - which I worked through - it took some time - but eventually I worked through that.

Right now my depression is the worst it has been I I know it's due to the last year of my life... not working and feeling like I have no purpose in life - then when I became pregnant I was so happy to be a Mom - and THAT was my purpose until that got taken away.

What is the cause of your depression?

Hi
I'm not sure what I can call you but I refuse to call you 'fading away'! I'm so sorry for all the things that have happened to you, especially in the past year. Are you married? Do you live alone?
I've found that what works best for me is to constantly 'reprogram' my brain with new thoughts. I highly recommend Louise Hay's book 'You can Heal Your Life'. Also, write down all the things you love about yourself, and READ IT often. It is your thoughts alone that is keeping you depressed...also there are MANY YouTube videos about motivation that can 'pick you up' enough to want to go outdoors. Sitting at Borders browsing through books is a great way to shift your thoughts...check out some of the self help books right there in the store.
I'd be willing to bet that you lack love in your life; at least, that seems to be my issue. Talk to the people that love you. Hang in there, and if you need someone to talk to I'm here, and many others as well.
Love you dear!

Awesome comment…
Even i have the same complaint.
your words make me to think positive…
LEt me REPROGRAM. :slight_smile:
Thanks

By the way, I forgot to answer your question. My depression is caused by lack of love in my life. I'm pretty tired of living alone, and work out of my house, so I don't interact with others as much as I'd like, & spend too much time alone. At times I have a hard time going anywhere as well, but when I do I always feel better.
I grew up pretty alone; several years between siblings & parents that were very busy in their own business. I think I got a certain comfort in being alone, and so even though I don't want it, it seems to 'follow me', if you know what I mean. I think I push others away that want to care because I'm afraid it won't last....something like that!

Luckily I'm married to an amazing guy who is trying to mentally support me as best as he can (without really understanding what I'm going through). I'm blessed for him otherwise I don't know where I'd be at this point.

You might have inspired me to go to Barnes and Noble tomorrow as I was thinking of it but it also gave me anxiety to think about it - I'm too comfortable in my house - and that scares me - it's hard for me to leave yet I'm scared to be "trapped" at home too....

You are absolutely right in that our thoughts are very powerful and we need to constantly think positive thoughts and push out the negative ones - but that's my problem - I've been too negative for too long that I don't believe in any positive thoughts, etc. When someone (such as my husband) tries to tell me something nice I refuse to believe him and disagree. I know I have to "reprogram" my brain - it's just impossible to do right now. I'm working with a therapist and she's been able to help me in the past... I hope she can help me this time - but like I said - this is the worst I've ever felt.

Thank you for the book suggestion - I will definitely check it out! I really appreciate it...

Even though I have my husband I feel very alone - Every single day I wake up and sit on the couch until it's time to go to bed... the computer on my lap and the TV (for company)... I feel so isolated from the world... when I used to be the exact opposite.

I really am grateful for these online support groups - it's just too bad that the ones we feel we connect with we can't get together with (due to where we live). There's nothing around where I live (in terms of a local support group).

Thank you again for taking the time to respond to me... I know the loneliness that you feel (even though I have a husband) - I still feel very alone... If you every want to talk - I'm here too!

Thanks again for the support.

I found your conversations above to be very helpful. I'm in the same boat. I sleep until 11AM or 3PM, shower, clean-up house and begin the ending of my day. The longer I sleep, the more time passes away that I don't have to be a part of anything. I don't even have to think about anything! It's hard to escape that feeling once you find yourself there. I've came in and out of this way of living, all my life I guess. I went over a year not speaking unless I had to for some demanding reason. I have been seeing a pyschiatrist and counsler. They are changing my medications around, which is always fun- NOT! I'm finding that I don't seem as nervous as I have been, but I'm really irritable still.
I'm sorry that you are going through this. It's not easy spending your days alone. I've found this site helps me to communicate better with people. Since I don't talk to anyone very much, I've found myself having a hard time when I do. I've got lazy with my words and run words together. I usually don't talk loud enough to be heard, because I figure know one really cares what I have to say anyway. I do have a boyfriend, we live together, but I'm so closed off. We don't ever talk about things we need to be discussing. We can be pleasant with other usually, but without conversation most of the time. That seem to make me wonder why I'm with someone I have nothing to talk about with, or don't feel comfortable sharing things with him. That stops our conversations most of the time, I think he is lying to me, or I don't really want to share with him what I am thinking. Either way, lack of love is a good way to put it. Noone should be without love. Like someone told me, turn some music on and get pumped up to do something. I've started doing Wii Fit everyday. I make myself! It's a struggle to get out of the bed, but I'm fighting it...
Good luck to you both and take care. I'm here, along with the rest to support.

Wow - I give you so much credit for even mustering up the energy to clean the house, shower, do Wii Fit!!! I wish I had that much energy. It’s embarrassing to say, but I can only get the energy to take a shower every two days (or three)… I just haven’t cared about what I look like for so long… I used to - god - my life used to be so different…I would never DREAM of going out of the house without make up on and now I rarely EVER wear make up.

As for your boyfriend - it can just be a guy thing - as wonderful as my husband is - he isn’t that great at communicating - and it can be frustrating… it makes me doubt our relationship - so I’m constantly looking for reassurance.

Take care and have a good night and a better tomorrow!

Hi Ladies,

I'm still trying to navigate my way around this site, & figure things out. I have a suggestion. I went onto Amazon.com & pulled up "Louise Hay CD"...they play for quite a while (she has several) & you can see if anything on them resonates with you. This may help if you don't want to leave the house, & hopefully will give you some strength.

Also, here is a little exercise that I did recently that helped a lot. I closed my eyes and envisioned myself a little girl 5 years old, and I was looking at her. I went up to her and held her tightly and told her how much I loved her and how special and lovable she was. I told her she would never be alone, never be happy, and so very loved. Use whatever words make you feel good....anyway, just trying to pass along whatever I've found. Wish you were nearby; I've got a whole library of books & CD's!!

Please keep up the conversations; I am grateful for your support and am here for you.

Remember Louise Hay's "You can Heal your life"...its a very good book.

Hey Adventuregirl :slight_smile: I already marked down that book that you mentioned before and am planning on checking it out when I make my trip to Barnes and Noble (maybe Friday).

Funny that you mention that “exercise” about talking to your “inner child” - I went to a therapist who specialized in that… I know it works for a lot of people - but unfortunately it didn’t work for me - I’m happy though that it’s working for you! :slight_smile:

This “Louise Hay” CD - is it a meditative CD? Book on CD?

Thanks again for the tips!

I too am grateful for YOUR support as well.

thanks for the helpful tips adventuregirl!

Hi Fading Away,

Louise Hay has written several books...a lot of which are on CD. I'd suggest that when you go to Barnes & Nobel...and get your Chai Tea (lol), sift through some of her books. I'm wondering if you feel your depression stems from lack of confidence? Loneliness? Do you feel you have a purpose in life? Helping to identify the source may help in terms of which books might be best for you. I also like Dr. Anthony's book on The Ultimate Power of Self Confidence...it's small & a quick read but good info. Please let me know when you get home from Barnes how it went & what you found, OK??

Advenuregirl - You are right on point - and it feels good to talk to people on here that get it - that understand… YES - I feel like my life lacks purpose - I have no confidence - I’m lonely (even though I have my wonderful husband) - Through therapy I have found the cause of this deep depression (last year I lost my job and lost my baby among other things - but these were the two biggies).

I used to read so many self-help books - and I have a lot of meditation/books on CD too… but then you know how it goes - you start to feel better and you abandon all those things that have helped you get to that point - when you should continue to do those things… so I’ve started reading books again - but the ones I have (that I bought years ago and haven’t read yet) aren’t “speaking” to me - so I definitely need to find some that do. I WAS going to go to Barnes and Noble yesterday but I didn’t - I HOPE to go tomorrow - and I will for sure let you know what I end up finding! :slight_smile: Thanks again for your help! I hope you have a wonderful day!

HI Fading...

You are quite welcome; I feel so good to have helped in a small way. I also believe that coincidences are meant to be paid attention to. Please pay attention to your thoughts, and visualize what you want your life to be. Focus on it as if it is already happening. Visualize yourself at the bookstore tomorrow, very eager to get out of the house and go. There is great power in visualization and affirmations. You now have the opportunity to create a great future for yourself, with your wonderful husband. I'm sorry for your losses, they are terrible, but you are putting all of your thoughts on them, keeping you depressed. Please put them behind you, and look ahead...focus on the most fun you've ever had with your husband. Have him help you find a purpose...
By the way, a good friend of mine's business is helping people find their passions in life. It is an incredible process, & she can do it over the phone with you. It's relatively inexpensive...and certainly worth checking it out! www.intentionallivingonline.com
All my best....have a great sleep and visualize the joy and vibrance you will feel after spending a rewarding morning at the bookstore! IF I lived near you I'd go pick you up & take you there! :-))

Awwww - thanks so much adventuregirl :slight_smile: Hearing encouraging words certainly help a LOT :slight_smile: