I love my mom but she gets into these passive aggressive moods, and she is in one of those moods right now. She won't talk to anyone, it's just so hard and I just feel so sad when she is in these moods. Alls I can think about is going in my room and self injure. The urge and the impulse to self injure is just so hard, especially cuz I have other things on top of my mom moods. There is nothing I can do alls I can do is just sit and wait till she done being in the mood, I have tried talking to her and it only makes it worse and makes me feel even worse too. I actually kinda blame myself when she is in her moods, I always think it's my fault and then I just think how I am a horrible daughter. I just hate not knowing if it's something I did too though cuz she won't talk about it, it's so frusterating too. I just wish she would talk about it. People always tell me if she won't talk about it then it's kinda he problem or issue and I am trying to think like that but it's just so hard and so I just want to post how I am feeling and hope it will help me stop all these negative thoughts.
Princess
Never try to hurt yourself because it will only cause more problems. Has your mom went to get help? if she didn't please let her do so. This way you may be able to understand her even more and u can give yourself reassurance that it's not your fault. Never blame yourself for your mother's moods, If you talked to her and she still won't budge, just let her be for a while... she will call you when she needs to talk to you.
I was injuring myself before too and it's not a good thing, it only brought misery and pain towards my family. Have you tried seeking for a therapist?
I can understand how you are feeling. My mom has a borderline personality disorder and goes through many mood changes in the period of 24-hours. When I lived at home, it was like walking on eggshells all day. My suggestion to you to remember that it is not your fault and if you feel that you are walking on eggshells much of the time there is a great book called "Stop walking on eggshells" it is by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger. A psychiatrist recommended this book to help me. It really gave me insight into my moms behaviors.
Remember your mom moods are not your fault and you have to concentrate on making sure that you are taking care of yourself and not hurting yourself. You are a good daughter and person.
HUGS
Is it your mom's fault that you want to hurt yourself?! No right?! See,its the same with you. Everyone makes thier own choices in life,you and your mom! I know its hard to stay strong when others in your life can barley keep it together themselfs,nevermind helping you out. I would try and talk to your mother when she's NOT in one of these moods and explain to her the best you can or want to share what it does to YOU. Sometimes people can't see outside of themselfs. Mabye when she relizes how negativley this is affecting you it could give her just enough strengh to go talk to someone. Juat say to her I'm not asking for you to move mountains,just to let someone know what your going through. Also let her know that you love her,and want your mommy back! It's all about how and when you have this talk...Hope you all the best,and let us know what happens... ;)
Dear princess,
If I would not talk to my kids, especially when they need me or see that I don't feel well, they would definitely feel afraid or rejected. Sense of losing me. While they are still young, I guess it would be the same when they are older (as in your case).
I don't know why your mom is avoiding contact, but you HAVE to let her take responsibility for that behavior. It is HER responsability to find help! If she feels agressive it is her responsability to use that energy to her benefit without hurting others. That is a life task no one can do in her place!
y