Morning fragility: anger, resentment and cry. When I wake

Morning fragility: anger, resentment and cry.
When I wake up in the morning, first thing even before I open my eyes, I find myself crying, or angry. Tormented by bad thoughts (like missing my dog and family, Im fat etc...). Most of the resentment is directed toward my partner, he puts effort in the relationship (I know it and I admit it), but doesn t show the slightest sexual attraction for me, sex is rare and feels like a chorus. I don t feel a woman anymore and I am so full of hate that I want see the world burn!!! Plus I am angry for the effort he puts in his band, which is the center of the world for him at the point to be toxic, and leads him to travel often to other cities with his mates: All the things and development we were supposed to have together, he is having it with his guitarist and bestfriend. I feel betrayed, he was the light of my eyes. I now just want the courage to give up on everything (expectations and sex), forget this thing and let the anger go. LET GO. I don t want to wake up crying everytime I sleep, regretting all my life, hating myself, cursing the world. Let go that dreamy, animal, lusty sex desire, let go the consuming anger. I am begging myself to let go.

2 Hearts

I mean, I don t want to sound defensive but that s not the point. I really love my man beyond the sexual urges, otherwise I had already cut my self lose. I am fully aware that if I don t like the burger, I can drop it for a steak, but yet...the thing is I love my man, and I dream of a healthy sexual life and never feel rejected again.

It can be very frustrating for both partners. I would suggest you seek counseling. As we age, sex doesn’t appeal to some men and also he could be that he’s frustrated as well for his inability to meet your sexual needs and using his work as a way out. Don’t give up, seek help

1 Heart

Have you asked to travel with the band when they do. I mean you can try and spice things up a bit you know do something that you wouldn't do normally. I am sure the fire is still there for him maybe just need a little Gas on the fire. Try different thing like maybe role play or something to get things going. As for hating the world and stuff I understand that. I had cancer when I was a baby and it left me messed up from the chemo and radiation so everyday I blame God for letting me live and have the issues I have. I even had a heart transplant at the age 30 and that left me disabled so my life is a sham I am 37 and I wish everyday I would've died on the table I mean I flat lined 5x and I am still alive. It's rough but I try and keep moving forward and it is hard I know it is. Hang in there and hopefully thing will get better

1 Heart