Mornings suck I feel so fu&kin raw like an open cut and I kn

Mornings suck I feel so fu&kin raw like an open cut and I know she is just going on with her day like I was a footnote. I just don't know how to make this end.

1 Heart

I'm with you bro!
My little ones are feeding themselves breakfast now like I'm a stranger that they've talked to a couple times

I am once again paralyzed on the couch, another day of nothing. I'm waiting but not sure for what. Like what am I holding out for? Am I waiting for the love for my W to die? Wow what a treat. I mean that is what I want to lose the love of my best friend & soul mate WTF??? How can she just do this push me aside.

So... What has happened? She has a new man? Your divorced I take it? No chance at all for reconciliation? Your talking about feelings, but little information.

Not divorced and to my knowledge no new guy she told me I was too insecure. We had a huge fight in July and she stayed at a friends house for the weekend and then sent me a text "I am done!!!! I want you out of the house by Wednesday afternoon or the authorities will remove you" I have that memorized. That was the last contact we had. She got a PFA by saying she was scared to come home. Then to make it all perfect her dog died and she blamed me for doing it. Dog ran all over ate from everyone's trash including the neighbor that had warned us to keep her on our property. She chose to come home and instantly believe I would do such a thing. I am a total animal lover and that really hurts that she thinks I'd do such a thing. It's the NC that I feel is so cruel to do. I've gone with women who meant nothing for a few months but could never be so cruel as to do that. We were married I was her "soul mate" another bullshit phrase and she can just leave me hanging like this knowing how sad it made me.
In addition I treated this woman like she was a gold covered diamond I mean I worshiped the ground she walked on. I took care of her daughter like she was mine. She even gave up custody of her daughter the same week she ended us. I am so lost & confused without her

@Sgerard It sounds like she has deeper issues man.
No reasonable person gives up on their spouse and own offspring so quickly, lightly and the thoughts didn’t happen over a weekend.
She may have been pushed into acting on those thoughts though.
You can and should persevere. You’re obviously strong to have fight for your daughter and having the W say that you were too insecure; That’s a cop-out not an actual reason.
You can do this!

I have to do it. I legally can't talk to her because of the PFA so talking to her could cost me custody of my girls and while she is a great person when she gets mad she forgets her actions have consequences. I know it wasn't the weekend that did it that's when it came out. Our only problem has ever been the insecurity thing but it's also her reaction to my insecurity that causes a big problem.

@Sgerard I think you need to work through the insecurity first. You sound consumed by her also. You need to give yourself time to understand you before you can work on the pair of you as a whole.

I don't think she is going to give me a shot. I was reading some emails she used to show I violated the PFA and she is so mad at me for the dog thing I don't see her giving "Us" a chance. No matter what I can prove about that i didn't hurt her dog she seems to want or need to believe I did.
I'm also hurt by the accusation as if ever there was an "animal person" it is me. I used to sleep with the dog curled under my arm once my W left for work (I work from home so I slept an hour or 2 after she left).

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