my 17 year old son has just been on a 4 day post-exam smoking "bender" ... seeing him in a zombie like state is v.upsetting... I am torn between coming down hard "zero tolerance" and trusting him to monitor his usage and cut it down ...dread being in a position a few years down the line when I regret not having been more assertive and "nipping it in the bud" .... he is completely convinced that he is in control, it is natural and harmless etc etc .... any thoughts on what anyone wishes their parents had said to them or what a parent said that helped???
I don't think the zero tolerance approach would help at all, probably just get him pissed off with you or make him feel he has to hide it. Try speaking to him as though he were another adult (which he practically is) explain that you're worried about him, maybe talk about why, effects of heavy or long term use stuff like that. I used to be a heavy smoker, nothing anyone said would've stopped me, after a while I figured it wasn't doing me any good and stopped.
The idea is to help him understand to smoke moderately like you mentioned. Telling him not to do it at all will likely result in him going and trying something that could have real harmful consequences.
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