This past Sat.My daughter came by and we were to go to the movies (just the 2 of us).It had been a long time since we had sent time just the two of us. Within 15 min. I found the true reason for our getting together. She told me her boyfriend and her were now married. I was not told or invited, they went to the court house. He was adopting my 8 year old granddaughter, had moved in his 2 of 4 children into her home (she has a very small 3 bd home) She has 3 children of her own, girls 10, 8 and 2 years old. Now there are 7 people living in this 1470 sq.ft home. Where do they all sleep? He is driving her new White Mustang, she has two cars. For the past 3 and 1/2 years she has been dating or moving this person into her home. He has beat her, stolen money, given her STD, threatened my older granddaughters do much that they are afraid of him. Used her in any way and in the most disgusting ways. 3 years ago she called me and my son to come get my granddaughters because she feared their lives. When we arrived there was a group of "his people" waiting for us, they beat me and her, stomped, kicked, bit, punched and my son tried to prevent this and when the police finally arrived they said it was street combat and never pressed any charges on them. Now I am to just accept all of this and hey mom oh yeah we got married, blah blah blah blah....
I have recently long my mother to severe rapid cycling bipolar, divorced my husband of 21 years 4 years ago am living with the most emotional abusive boyfriend I have ever known and my son moved to Penn and currently attending Penn State, he will not come here for a visit. My life is a train wreck. I have set some pretty good goals but they all seem to take a back set to all of this craziness. I have been feeling suicidal for about 3 weeks and I am going to a counselor and taking antidepressants. None seem to have prepared me for my daughters mess, my bad choice in living with this person and adjusting to my son being 1600 miles away and we talk once a month (maybe). I feel so alone and stressed out and wondering if this my be my time to set out. If I continue to be quite, not talk too much and never, NEVER do anything wrong in anyway while I am living with this person I can stay but I feel that too much is going on for me not to be effected by it and he is now doing rude and nasty things to me. While asleep he turns on the bedroom light to go to the bathroom. Turns the air off. While awake he turns the channel to war, death and anything to make me leave his PRESENCE. Now that I am staying in bed and not saying much it is even worse, he constantly says for me not to ask any more STUPID questions if I try to start a conversation. Well you get the living conditions I'm in, add x10 and you really have it. I stay because I don't have any money and can't find a job to save and get a little apt. and where would I get this "little apt" Kansas, Idaho, Ohio. OMG I am going through constant emotional tragedy with out knowing what to do. I'm so mentally messed up I can't even think my way out of a paper sack right now.
Well, it is 4:30 am Mon and I am still awake. I have spent this time working on what I am going to do with my life. I have some things I need to do later this am and then I'm done. If I can't seem to make sound judgment decisions and find a life of my own with some type of happiness. (which I can say I have truly tried) I should be dead by weds. I can whine away on these support sites and still I feel the same way. I have been feeling this way for some time and now I realize that I am wasting air. Postponing the inevitable and wasting what money I have in the bank to support this. My son needs this money for college and my car as an upgrade for him to complete college with reliable transportation. I have it completely organized and ready to proceed. I am thankful that I happened across this site and I am thankful for being able to put my feelings into words. It has given be clarity.
Well, in my opinion and i am outside looking in, your emotionally unstable. You need to stay on anti depressants. You need to not do drugs/alchohol -not saying you are. But those mess with the chemicles in your brain+ the meds in your system.
If you dont like your couselor, research online to find a more suitable one.
You also need to stand up for yourself, and get out of this brutally emotionally abusive household. I would suggest a homeless shelter, while you get a job.
A lot of the homeless, unfortunatley dont get jobs- but if you set goals, you will make it through this wreck your in.
I will offer support, message me your yahoo messenger, or facebook. I understsnd your situation. Im bipolar 2 and aspergers. I have been homeless, i once had a wreck of a life- and was very unstable.but i set goals and now live in a beautiful house with my fiance of 2 years.im not bragging or gloating im simply telling you you CAN do it! You seem like a wonderful person, everyone goes through rough patches in life. We just have to pull through them..
Please send me a message, saying your yahoo or facebook, again i will give you emotional support.