My body is

My body is...
The only one I will ever have and I want this to last! My body is made to run, to be dressed up with jewelry and dressed down with jeans - made to carry babies and make love. My body is my own!!

This quote keeps me going. It is so beautiful, so true, and so worth fighting for!
It has not been an easy journey the past three weeks, but I am not giving up on myself! I just wanted to share another little glimmer of hope.
Now that I am being watched 24/7, I have very little opportunity to act out on eating disorder behaviors, but I have to admit that I have gotten away with it a few times :( I am not happy about this, but as of now it has been two weeks since I have had any symptoms!
Last night was rough. I have had so many urges, not only with eating disorder-related behaviors, but also with self harm. Last night I was not feeling too hot, and I was planning on straightening my hair in the bathroom - I had my whole plan in my head, I was going over and over and over. Then somehow, before I knew it, I had called over one of the other girls on the unit and told her I was feeling impulsive and planning to act out on urges. She sat with me for a minute, and then we both agreed that I would straighten my hair out in the common area. I know it seems small, but I stopped myself in my tracks and had a good rest of the night.
I am frustrated and tired, and it is not easy, but I have a feeling that I can do this... All of the people here have faith in me, and I am beginning to trust them I think.

Wow CC.

That is so powerful. It is incredible that you chose to call someone rather than act out on those thoughts. This is something that you can keep doing over and over again until it is the fist thing that comes to mind if you feel like doing sthg to harm yourself.

Also, well done on 2 weeks without behaviours. It is a great achievement knowing where you came from.

I wish you the best as you continue treatment and i love that you are celebrating your body. It is such a blessing to be able to see that we were meant to love the body we have and not hate it.

I wish more of it for you and for everyone else here.



you know, CC you are simply fantastically amazing. no, you never cease to amaze me , friend. i will copy down that phrase also. you are brave, wonderful and strong, and resilient, and i have been so praying for you and apparently it has worked. i feel so happy for you. really. i know it is hard, but CC recovery is not easy for anyone!

you are doing amazing and i always --always think and wonder how you are doing! my spirit is with you, friend.

keep up the awesome work--- your doing great!

love and hugz

Thanks you guys! I appreciate the support... this process is far from simple, but it is worth it. The quote is amazing. Keep it close to your heart and never give up!!
Lots of love,

CC...I LOVE the quote and I LOVE that you fought back to protect yourself!!
You are so right.....many many people have faith in you, and the fact that you are beginning to feel it for yourself...that's just awesome!! Love you, Jan ♥

i really do love this quote, since i always make fun of my body...

CC you are the greatest as also is jan..