My boyfriend is always messaging other girls and talking sexual, I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. We are teen parents (both 17,18 by the end of the year) and our son is almost 4 months. I want to be able to stay together for our son and I honestly don't wanna lose him. I don't want my son to come from a split home either. I told him I would lose weight so I can look like them girls and I'm starting to lose the weight but its not working.Can someone please give me some advice?
My advice is simple...it is not worth your energy. He is clearly not ready to be the man you need him to be. You are a mother now...you need to do what is best for your son. You can only do that if you are happy. Your depression, frustration, and sadness can be felt by your son. I commend you for wanting to keep your family together, but you must see it was never that from the beggining. You both engaged in intimate actions that resulted in a child. That doesn't make a family. A family is built on respect, love, understanding, and loyalty. Even if you can hold on for now, do you want to look back 10 years from now and wonder how you even got where you are? By then your son would be around a man who isn't even a good example for what a real man should be. Guys mature slower than girls. What you are going through is proof enough. Your focusing on family and he is focusing on external desires. Take it from a girl raised in a single-family home....you can be parent enough for him. My mom has never had a man in our lives. She has protected me, cared, loved, and saved me from my own faults. She has a son with mental retardation, a daughter becoming a PhD student and then another daughter, me, with a generalized anxiety disorder that is trying to make a life for herself. She is the most amazing women ever. I have zero memories of feeling a hole of where my dad is. I could have a relationship with him, but i dont need to be around that. Now not every child is the same, but i can guarantee if you are there for your son 24/7 than he will feel your love. By the time he is older his father may still be trying to grow up. He can grow best from you not him. Maybe just cut the relationship, but keep the door open for him to be there for your son. He is yours always and forever.We can talk if you have anything else you need support with.
5 Hearts
First, no mores sexting. No more contact. Full disclosure of his phone, passwords, etc. do you think he can do all this? Get a marriage counselor. If he won't go, you go. I am so sorry he is doing this. Hopefully he will want to change for you and your child. Sending you strength, hope, ((hugs)) God's peace.
1 Heart
You guys are very young. Better to be a single mom than be living in a horrible situation (and feeling not good enough while he's sexting others is horrible). It's him. I have two close friends who were married at 18 and their husbands never did that kind of thing. So this is him. Plus, you are both so young. STILL THOUGH, a guy sexting is going to grow up into a sexting 40 year old guy...YUCK. Right? I wouldn't want that in my home anyhow. I'm 41 and I am doing ok as a single mom. It's not easy, but it's certainly a hell of a lot better than living with a porn addict or an emotional abuser, that is FOR SURE. You are fine the way you are. If you want to lose weight for your own health reasons, more power to you, but DO NOT lose it to impress him. He's acting like a horny 14 year older.
1 Heart
I'm sorry that you have to be in this position. You should not have to lose weight in order to keep someone around. You are very young, and you are beautiful no matter what. He obviously is very young as well and is probably just confused about what he wants right now. You shouldn't have to wait until he matures though, you and your child deserve much more.
2 Hearts
I am in your same situation but i am 19 and my children's father is 25 .I really cant tell u when you baby daddy is going to mature because mine sure hasnt and we have been together for 7 years.