My brother is so far in denial of drinking, that he doesn't want help and hes lost me and my sister and lost is losing his daughter from alcohol. my aunt just got severally disabled from alcohol and living with her dad. this has been the story of my life, my entire life. its so old, that i tried to seek my brother into an intervention , but dad wouldn't go for it and in order for my brothers intervention to work my dad has to be involved because dad is an enabler and brothers daughter is a huge enabler of my brother and needs to go too but she wont so the intervention will not work, sadly
if this is true, the only thing you can do is close this door and turn your back
@norseduncan no i made this all up sarcastic voice like i said in the earlier message he has lost me and my sister as his sister
@lamarchick I'm really sorry for what you're going through with your brother and your aunt. Unfortunately, alcoholism (the disease of addiction) tends to run in families. You're brother may hit his bottom, the very last moment he can stand being drunk, and seek help on his own. But, you can't make that happen and you have to take care of yourself. I agree with @norseduncan, you have to close this door.
@GirlKitty My brother can’t hit a rock bottom because my dad and my brother’s daughters mom are enabling him and helping him pick up when he falls. dad has nobody so he comes to me to vent and I tell him things like you need to stop enabling etc but he acts like i’m crazy and like i need to continue to give him the benefit of the doubt and cutting him out of my life is the wrong thing to do because it never helps him. I also ask dad every once in a while have you heard from Waylon(my brother) because I want to know he is still alive. I tried to tell him how i felt and how it is effecting the family in an intervention kind of form, but Waylon just got all upset like normal addicts do and acted in denial. he has in the past said he wont get like my aunt, really disabled off alcoholism because he cant monitor the alcohol, yet that is just Waylon being in denial and not wanting help because we all know he cant control and monitor the alcohol, most addicts can not . I first started to notice he was a drunk when i was 12 and im 30 now, and what is sad his daughter is now realizing hes a drunk at 12 also. he has been a bum his entire adult life with nothing to show for it. He started to drink right out of high school. I understand he needs to want to get help in order for it to work, and doesn’t want the help right now, but i thought maybe if i wrong out an intervention telling him how its effecting me and the family, and he had to be forced to sit in a room and listen then it might just be a click to get help, but it didnt work when i was the only one on board with it. I want an out of this so badly, you know an end, a conclusion to this . I myself was messed up from alcohol , by my mom when she decided to drink while pregnant with me because of her alcoholism and now i have a birth defect of fetal alcohol syndrome, so in a way I kind of know what its like to be effected by alcohol. Like i said earlier I have already cut him off and i dont give my brother my number and I have made it clear to my brother to never talk to me again and that i will never see or talk to him until he is getting help and working on staying clean.
@lamarchick I'm so sorry you've had to cut your brother out of your life, I realize it's like watching him die slowly and I know how much that hurts. My father was an alcoholic, heck just about everyone in my family was an alcoholic or addict, including me. For me, what finally made me want to get help was the pain of living every day, the withdrawal, the having to drink just to feel 'right', and also I saw that I was losing everything. I was going to lose my husband, my job, my life. I had a moment of clarity in the midst of my addiction and I saw what I had to do. But, up to that point, no person could have stopped me.
You are right, the enabling is making it worse for your brother. He will continue to drink as long as there are people who soften the blows.
I don't know what to tell you except how sorry I am for what you're going through. I know from my father and mother that it's so hard to watch someone you love die a slow painful death. I know your heart hurts for your brother. I wish I could tell you things will be okay, but there's a chance it won't.
Please continue to post and let us know how you and how your brother is doing. I will keep you both in my heart.
@GirlKitty thanks, this helps a lot
I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. Just know we are here to you to vent anytime you need and we support you 100%!!!!
@cbgrace1980 thanks, this means a lot