My brother made an insensitive comment towards me a that

My brother made an insensitive comment towards me that has got me doubting myself and feeling like I am unintelligent and worthless. This is has really been going on for years. He said, "It's okay. You've bumped your head a few times. It's understandable". I nearly died from a near fatal head injury that took a long time to recover from. He thinks being a smart *** is an art form and that he is "joking" when he makes these comments. I have dealt with harsh treatment most of my life from the time I was 8 years old until I became an adult. Where I am from people ***ociate brain injuries with retard-ism or mental illness and I have been abused and alienated because of it for a long time. I am in a bad state of depression and I can't make him see that he was in the wrong no matter how much I try to tell him. He says I am just being overly sensitive when I'm not. I am at the end of my rope and I don't like feeling this way.

Maybe you should just ignore his comments and walk away. Then try to forgive him and pray for him.

I wish it were that easy. This is an ongoing thing with him. Thank you for the support. I appreciate you for it. May God bless you.

AAAArrrgggghhhh! Your brother is being awful, let's be frank. And he likely will not change. I grew up with sarcasm that was used to be aggressive, though if I acted hurt, the offender would say oh i was just joking!
I'm sorry I do not have better support than to commiserate with you. I had to move halfway across the country to be far enough away to not visit home too often. The saying 'You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family" rings all too true.
Hang tough. Sometimes praying for strength is the best we can do.

Sometimes commiseration is the only support we can offer one another.

I am sorry you have dealt with the same things that I have. But it is good to know that I am not alone. That is why I chose to seek out a support group. I have never known anyone that has been through what I have been through and I have felt so alone in my life.

It’s the hard comments and the insensitive attitudes that make me doubt myself. I don’t think they realize how deep the pain goes. If I could move away I would have a long time ago. But I need to be near my parents so that my children can know them and so I can take care of them.

To be true, I would never say that I am smarter than anyone else or more intelligent. I try to be good to everyone because I want people to be good to me. I strive to have a good heart and to help those in need and I often have my heart broken because people still think less of me for something I had no control over. Living in a small town has been one of the toughest things I have had to endure and having someone close to me treat me badly, more than adds to my hardships.

This is who am and have always been. I have beaten the odds and I have waded through relearning everything, struggles with walking, all manner of physical rehabilitation, and years of misery to be who I am now. I have fought against every obstacle in my way to make it this far knowing I shouldn’t even be here today.

I have pushed myself harder than anyone I know or have known. I read and have read and studied to push myself beyond my limits. I have spent most of my years trying to prove that I am smart enough and that I am not weak minded, dumb, retarded, brainless etc. etc. I’m 37 years old, I am a dad and husband, I am a poet, song writer, singer and musician, philosopher, artist and that is only a portion of what and who I am.
I am not slow. I do not have any learning disabilities and I know and understand more than most.

To have my only brother whom I love and cherish to treat me as he does has really beat me down most of my life. My little sister is the same as he is, though she and I are rarely around one another.

You see, I thought this all would end after I grew to be a man but it seems this pain will never leave me as long as I live.

I hope one day my little brother will see that he has been with those that would hurt me, when he should have been standing beside me and against them.

And, my friend you are right about prayer. I pray every day that his heart will change and that he will see the error is not with me, but within himself.

I also hope that one day you can find peace. I will pray that you do. God bless you.

Sorry this is so long. I really needed to tell someone all of this because I have never been able to tell anyone other than my loving wife. She seems to be the only person that will listen to me.

I spent a long time being alone before she came along. My parents just tell me “that is your brother! you need to just let it go and forgive him.” But I keep saying to myself, “how many times do I have to forgive someone who continues to do the same things to me over and over and time and time again?” I doubt he’ll ever change.

You sound so well accomplished and motivated to do all you can to over-ride your difficulties. You must be a great inspiration to many people who know you. Perhaps your brother is jealous of how much you have been able to overcome. Maybe you should dwell on the wonderful wife you have and on your children. That's what my grandmother told me when I was a young mother and my husband and I were raising our family and meanwhile I was having a lot of difficulties with other family members in my life. That seemed to help me a lot. God bless you.

I try to inspire those around me but my confidence often wavers. My goal has always been to tell people that limitations do not limit who you are. They are obstacles along your way to push you further and to make you stronger. If you give up and you never try then you have failed ultimately. If you try and keep trying that is not failing. You have to keep moving no matter what.

Perhaps he is jealous. He dropped out of school in the 8th grade to work and then he started drinking a lot. He has never really been much of anything. He prefers to work and drink and to half raise his family. That is his goals. I think he may just have low self esteem that I am only just now recognizing and he’s projecting that onto me.

I will give him another chance and try to explain to him how much he has hurt me over the years. Maybe he’ll listen since we haven’t been talking to each other.

And you know what? I will dwell on my lovely wonderful wife and two amazing children. They are my biggest supporters.

This whole support group thing has opened me up more than I have ever been.

Thank you so much for your kind words and God bless your heart!