Hi SupportGroup,
I've posted before that I seem to vomit at most free moments I get to myself (sans kids or bf) however, when I am with them, I somehow curtail it. I am baffled by this behavior. if I can REFRAIN from purging with them, why don't I alwaysssssssssssssssssssssssssssss refrain from doing it.
I have several examples where I was on vacay with my bf for 10 days and didn't b/p b/c I simply didn't have the opportunity and was too afraid to get caught.
Later, i went to visit my parents for 5 days with my kids and the same result.
So I KNOW that it can be done but often when I'm alone the FIRST thing I think about is what i'm going to stuff myself with and then plan on throwing it up...
I just don't get it.
Is anyone else this way?
Thanks in advance for responding. -- I would really like to hear from you on this.
All the best,
Caroline -- still struggling after 15+ years.
P.S. yes, i've tried everyth - meds, therapist, etc... etc... :(
Hi Caroline.....can you think about what it is about those other situations that help you NOT engage in those symptoms? Is it about being occupied? Is it about being afraid of being caught? If you can emulate those situations at home in some way, and commit to NOT having symptoms, you could possibly create a new 'norm' for yourself in your own environment.
You are the only one who can determine what you need in order to stay safe from these old patterns. Please continue to share.....Jan ♥
jan. as always thanks for your words of wisdom. you are wise in your thoughts. i think the main thing is that i'm constantly around people and there's simply NO way for me to comfortably vomit so i know that going into the situation (i.e. vacation, etc.). its too much effort to run to a restroom and then have to clean myself up and look/smell/appear normal afterwards... i guess i'm not a professional bulimic.. (bad joke)
and yes, the other part of it is simply being occupied -- but mainly its the fact that i'm surrounded by people or at least someone.
you're right that i need to find a way to make this environment at my home... but when i'm all alone the temptation is so great.
i'll continue to try to think of options AND continue to find another therapist. !!
many thanks,
caroline