ok so basically i have a 3.5 year old daughter and she is completly out of control i have tryed time outs taking away her toys not taking her places and nothing is working....
ill let you know abit about her
me and her father split for the last time when she was 2 and she has not seen him sense she says she hates him and refuses to talk to him. the problems i am having with her is she is very violent for no reason she throws things hits me and other kids... also she takes important things like money and wallets and hides them..i take her to a program for kids getting ready to start school and she was asked to leave because she would not listen and was kicking toys at the teacher..
There are a lot of different reasons why she could be acting out.
I'll try to address the things you mentioned:
-I'm seeing your biggest concern with her is she is acting out and being violent. What my conclusion is based upon everything you said is she is doing attention seeking behaviors. Hiding important things (money/wallets), hitting, kicking,etc. When she does these things it's calling attention to her, it doesn't matter if it's bad or good attention. But the focus is on her.
-I noticed you said you and her father split for the last time, which implies you have before. Young kids really crave stability, they like to know what to expect and feel secure in their environment.
-Without more information it's hard for me to figure out why she is saying she hates her father and doesn't want to speak to him at 3 1/2 yrs old. That young kids don't know what's in their best interest. Did he do something to warrant her being upset with him? Has she heard things you've said? More information is needed on that.
Based on the information you gave, I think it's really important for you as her mother to facilitate her having a relationship with her dad. She is too young to understand her decisions. If you already encourage her to have a positive attitude towards him, keep doing that. Kids imitate what they see. You really need to sit down with her and see what she has to say about why she doesn't want to see him.
Can you provide some more information about the stuff above? Also, are you in another relationship? Does she have a set routine?
ok so her father use to be a very violent person towards me but not her and as for her hearing things i say about him its not possible men and him even tho we now live in other provences are friends and talk all the time… he was never mean to her just very strict
and yes i am in a relationship and she loves the man i am with to death she has a set routine like eating times and bathing times and bed times and she does not mind it.
its just when she is usually around other kids she starts to act out or around family.
she has said she does not want to talk to or see her father sense the day we split up for the last time
we were very off and on the whole 5 years we were together.