Hello. I am a new group member of hoarding. My autistic son is a hoarder. He lives at home with his father and I. My child is 18 years of age. Most people tend the think since the home is mine, that "ordering" him, or helping him would be a simple matter. But it isn't with the upset and loss he feels with the clean up process. He says he would like his room cleaned, and I believe him. But when I
go in to start the sorting and cleaning, he becomes very upset. My child isn't violent, he just has so much stress with even knowing I doing the cleaning. Right now, I'm just trying to get the strength to go into his room. Thanks for the help.
I myself am a hoarder and I have struggled with keeping the amount of stuff in my apartment at a reasonable level. In the begiinning of the doting process it was very difficult for me. However I found a process that works for me.first I would choose a category of the stuff that I would sort through such as pajamas. Then I will choose my favorites to keep if it isn't a favorite I will take it to the going out spot. Not that the going out spot is a give away spot, no it means that I am turning my mind toward the idea of letting go but it can stay there for awhile until the anxiety I am feeling decreases. Then after a break ,any where from a day to three days I would come back and challenge myself to take half of them to the give away spot. Then I would take a break and head back to the favorites to take more to the going out spot and add them to the ones I kept and then challenge myself to take half to the givie away spot and so on.
I developed this process for myself to work through the anxiety and after I did this for awhile I was able to modify the process until I am to the place where I am today . Today I can decide to tackle a category or an area of my house and tackle it sucessfully with no problem .
My suggestion is that you work with your son to develop a special process similar to mine to lessen the anxiety. Please work with him. It may be very slow progress but it is progress not prerfection that will work . Also when you work with your son do not be too rigid when it comes to the process. For example when I say half of the items I do not mean to be exact. Also I reLly suggest that you as well as your son would probably really benefit from therapy. I hope some of this helped. Remember to be gentle. Feel free to write me as needed. I will help in any way possible...