I was super nervous to go to this nursing social tonight at a frat house aka party with my roommate. We got all dressed up and wore heals which I liked. It was really awesome that we met all the other nursing students. When we got there it was great, I was finally meeting people guys and girls. Everyone was nice- everyone was drinking but still nice. I had my water bottle cause I don't drink.
As the night went on it got more crowded but it was still fine. I didn't feel uncomfortable and I was with my roommate and some other nursing students from my class. We hit the dance floor which by the way I cant dance. After a while of dancing one guy came up to my roommate and the other to me. Our other two friends were right next to us. They started dancing with us and the guy that was dancing with me kept putting my hands on me and I didn't want that so I tried dancing apart with him - wasn't comfortable especially since I love my boyfriend and I didn't know him. So he started shhhing me and pulling at my hips so I kept pulling away. He grabbed my head and tried to put it to his and his forehead was all sweaty. I pulled away again saying no. He Shhed me again. And started grabbing at my hips again and I was freaking out. My heart started pounding. Thank goodness my friend came in between us and I just couldn't stop saying thank you and I put my head on her shoulder in disbelief.
Soon after we left- right before the cops came and got underage names at the party. So I was shaken up and hungry from dancing I guess. We ended up going to mcdonalds (something I NEVER do) and ate chicken there and french fries and bought chocolate that I ate when I got home. Not really a binge at all- normal besides mcdonalds being disgusting nutrition wise- and ended up actually making my meal plan for the first time in days.
Just trying to feel okay and take a deep breath. I feel guilty for the food tonight but even though I felt really shaken up from the party I didn't binge even though I could have. I bought a candy bar and put part of it away. I am just glad everything turned out okay tonight. Mike is coming up tomorrow so he will make me feel better about the whole thing too. And also a much needed good nights sleep
woa---alle this must have been--kind of scary for you! who was that pervert all over you? did someone straighten him out??? that must have been so weird for you--im sorry..wow ---some guys just dont have control over themseleves. stay away from thay guy..
im glad you had mcdonalds but so sad yor party had the cops come over----wow alle what a night! geesh!
well at least you had your mcdonalds, ha..that is good. and a great step alee--really ..you are conquering your fear...
I don't know who he was. Some frat guy. But atleast I'm okay! :) I have some good friends looking out for me. And it's fine that the party got busted. I wasn't there when they were looking for underaged People there. I left edgy beforehand. Tha k goodness- not that I would get in trouble cause I wasn't drinking.
And I
haven't had mcdonalds in so long. I always considered it bad! But the one down the street from me is the nicest cleanest mcdonalds ever. It was actually yummy haha. Never thought I'd say that. I had a good night though when I look at the positives and I'm okay. I was just scared in the moment. I won't let it ruin my whole experience.
well, im glad you had a positive outlook overall...thats great and amazing you had a wonderful time at mcdonalds! this is big and you should really congradulate yourself--youre doing so well!
Thanks maureen! I am so surprised I had a good time too! I mean I have been doing so crappy the past few days. I even had a egg and cheese sandwich this morning with my roommate and I feel okay. :) And I am going out to dinner tonight with my boyfriend cause he is coming up and I am not nervous. I am going to attempt just getting something I want for once instead of getting something that has the least in it. I want to start living. I want to stop counting! I am so tired of all the stupid numbers. I am hoping the day ends up well with all this spontaneity.
I hope your day goes well too! How have you been feeling? Any better?
that is absolutely great allee–really…me ive been–so-so. i did relapse with the virus cuz my fiancee and i did go on a small trip and we were active that day—so today ive been relaxing in the sun and getting better. forcing myself not to do anything cuz i want this hurricance virus gone! ha! ive been drinking lots of green juice to get better–and it helps, it does. i like green juice—like from green veggies --they help the most when you are sick. it works every time. so i keep drinking that–i got a little scared today i havent been excercising in over a week and eating more—but im ok overall. i too, like you want to stop counting and start living. when things become obssessions it really destroys your life…
but, it was a gorgeous day today so i tried to enjoy it–and heal myself…
thanks so for asking…
unfortunately i think i gave my virus to my fiancee—eeek!
im happy you are facing your fears—the more you face them, the less fearful they become…
At least I am today! Or attempting :) I think my boyfriend coming tonight will also keep me strong! You are right trueimage! ED robs us of so much. Last night I had a fun night- and I don't party EVER and I am not that social anymore- I used to before ED took myself from me. I used to be happy, optimistic, lively, excited, extroverted. But ED made me introverted, depressed, pessimistic... I want to be me again! I want to live! :) HA I went to a party- me a party- and had a good time and shook off my scary moment. Im in college- I should be having fun, not just sitting by myself doing homework every friday night and dealing this stupid ED. And I guess last night allowed me to see this more. Allowed me to connect to my old self a little and I want it back.
allee…I’m sure you were very frightened at that party. I am thankful for you that you have good friends, and that you were not alone.
Recovery involves taking the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ labels off of food. Of course there are foods that may contain more vitamins, etc., but when the food rules become so rigid, is when the ED becomes so huge! McDonald’s is just food…not good or bad…food is energy…we need energy to live…so glad you are LIVING!! Have a great visit with your boyfriend!
HUGS…Jan
I'm so glad that you are deciding to have fun in a sober way. College is about having fun and you don't have to drink and drug to have fun. Alcohol and drugs got me kicked out of college and made everything a mess. The ED can do the same. Don't let it! I am proud of you, Allee!
Good job dealing with that scary event! I'm glad you had friends close by. I don't believe that guys "can't help themselves", but I think some guys, some times, choose not to... For whatever reasons. I'm glad you're safe. And that you have chosen healthy ways to work through this, rather than turning to your ED. ♥
