My daughter is 12 and her trich has really gotten out of con

My daughter is 12 and her trich has really gotten out of control. She has bald spots, no eyelashes, and is being bullied at school. I have her in therapy and even tried extensions (to the tune of $400.), but she pulled out the hair they were connected to and they all fell out. I feel like a terrible mother because it is something I personally can't control. She also has ADHD, so her impulsivity is high in most the hair pulling as well. We love her so much and hate to see her suffer through this :(

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Well is she on any medication for this or the ADHD? I think you are headed in the right direction with help she needs the therapy but might need some medication to help her along right now.

I have struggled with lash pulling since about that same age. I dont have ADHD but have always had a high level of anxiety and perfectionism. I'm 32 now, and the thing that has helped me the most is a low dose of Prozac. I always felt like I should be able to control it on my own without meds because "how easy it is to just stop pulling". It's not easy-it's frustrating and unexplainable. The Prozac just takes a slight edge off of the anxiety and helps me to manage my pulling a bit. It's not a cure however. It helps to understand what particular things set off the pulling. I've been there done that, tried everything so I feel for you and your daughter. If you'd ever like to talk feel free to message me.

Thank you both for taking the time to respond. She is on Focalin for her ADHD and a low dose of Sertraline for her anxiety. (I guess it's like Lexapro but generic?) klynn222, she seems unwilling to admit the problem, even though is very close to being bald in certain spots and has no eyelashes. If we try to talk to her about it, she just shuts down and walks away. Is there a way we might talk to her that is less threatening to her that worked for you? Maybe a different way of approaching things?

@southworthseekingsanity To be honest, I don’t know if there’s a good way to address it directly. My guess is that even though she is not admitting it’s a problem, she’s aware of it, but is embarrassed and doesn’t want to acknowledge it to others. That’s how I was (and am) at least. Very few people have brought it up to me in my life, but the ones who have-made me feel very defensive. It’s also upsetting to have people notice what you’re doing to yourself when you can’t control it. And for me at least, anxiety like that causes me to pull more. I also think you have to WANT to stop, and that came to me the older I got and the more I cared about my appearance. Wanting to look “normal” gave me incentive to learn ways to deal with it.
Do you know if there are particular times that she pulls or are there certain things that cause her to pull? One thing that helps me is to never let my hands be idle. Just sitting and watching tv causes me to need to do something with my hands, and they go directly to my lashes. I’ve gotten adult coloring books, I do cross stitch, I text, anything to keep my hands busy. I’ve heard of people having stress balls, etc, to squeeze when they feel the urge to pull but I can’t say I’ve tried those.
I’ve also found that the longer the nails the better. I’ve tried cutting my nails down to nothing, but that actually works the opposite way and it’s easier to grab the little hairs. The longer the nails are, the harder it is to pick at my eyes.
It’s really hard to understand the frustration with this, and I’m sorry I don’t have better ideas for you on approaching her.

From Hair Loss & Baldness to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)