I feel very uneducated rite now. My 19-year-old came yesterday 100 miles to stay with me while she tries to get clean. She has been smoking ice for 9 months. Got in with the wrong group of friends. Did not heed any warnings to stay away. She has finally come to her senses and broke away. She is on her second day sober (sleeping it off) and I am at a loss of what is next. We have not been close the last few years so I feel like she is a stranger to me. I love her more than life itself. As much as she says she has f**kd up her life, she is still my little girl! So all that being said I'm not sure what to expect her next symptom to be (once she wakes up) and what I can do to help her. I offered to find her a rehab but she says rehab doesn't help meth heads. Is this true? I also offered to find her a detox facility. Is this a good idea? Please lend some advice to an ignorant mom!
I am 24 and currently in treatment at a T.C. I can say from experience that treatment can help a meth addict...if your daughter wants to get help she can be successful in treatment. I have been an addict for eleven years and I know my mom was at a loss because she had no idea what to with me either. She was desperate for answers as I'm sure you are but it isn't going to be easy and she is going to need your support. It is all up to her wether or not she can overcome her addiction but treatment in my opinion is the first step necessary to learn how to cope with life without drugs.
So what can I say to her to convince her to go?
Well. I got sent to treatment because I got caught up with the law. My probation officer sent me and if it had not been for that I don't know that I would have ever gone. If she is honestly tired of the life she has been leading then she just needs to take the plunge into treatment. Nothing you say can make her want her recovery. She has to be ready but, enabling her is not helping if that is what you are doing. You need to hold her accountable no matter how hard it is. She is going to get pissed and probably say things that she'll regret later but it's the only way. She has to know what support is. Support is being there for her when she is ready to change her life around. She has already changed her playground by coming to you 100 miles away so maybe she really is ready. It isn't going to be easy but it is possible. Maybe she should start out with some outpatient treatment and go from there.
Hi :) you are clearly a beautiful, capable and loving mother and should be proud of your girl for the fact that she is able to face her addiction. Have faith in her resolve to get well again. Remind her as many times as she needs to be reminded that you love her, she is still so young, that all of life can be seen as a lesson and that having had darkness in her life will only make the bright moments brighter once she has overcome this challenge. Be there through her fits of anger and depression however don't let her take her anger out on you... be firm but be there to hug and hold her when, if stern words are spoken and sink in, tears begin...
I know that there is value in considering rehab and please don't use me as the ideal case as I have had a few slip ups along the way but don't loose heart if she feels that she doesn't want to go to rehab... (as long as she's not using). I couldn't bear the thought of rehab myself... though I did seek regular (weekly at first) counseling and luckily found someone I could openly talk to (I couldn't talk to my parents...).
I quit cold turkey... I decided one day that I was breaking up with crack... I didn't need what I saw as an abusive lover in my life anymore... I cancelled a lease and like your daughter moved back home to my mum (who still has no idea I was an addict :S). For a time, I stopped speaking to my friends and hibernated. I was the first to stop smoking crack and my strength helped many of my closest friend either go to rehab or start NA meetings. When we waver we tell each other that we are better than crack, that the love we have for the people in our lives is stronger then the love of a drug...
Even still I like to think of all the things I can do with the money I used to spend on my addiction... Instead of a fix I've paid my way through college and travelled overseas... again I say be there for your girl and remind her of all the things in this life that are much more worth living for.
Some quick things in terms of what to expect... well everyone is different but I personally have been high for up to week after smoking... My worst moments of anger/lashing out occur for at least 4 weeks after coming down and then I get depressed... I have to keep telling myself that what I'm feeling is as a result of the drug...
For me to go cold turkey;
I moved away from negative influences and took shelter with my mum ...
I got two jobs to A) start paying of debts accrued due to my addiction and B) keep me distracted from cravings during a 3 month break from uni..
I started up at gym and got a lot of nutritional advice from my doctor about how to build my health back up... (If I had a life'o'metre it would have been at 0.001 when I first quit but I'm getting there...)
I hope this helps a little and again I think you are wonderful for being there for you baby girl, I hope that the both of you continue to have the strength to overcome this and see brighter days!
Im a meth addict and my mom feels just like you do. I just got out of rehad and i can tell you that treatment does work. But it works when the addict seeks help. She will need to hit bottom and seek help her self. Also it would be a great idea for you to go to Al-non meetings around your area. Al-non meetings are for familly members of addicts to get help them selves by sharing with a group of people suffering from the same problem. Its really helpfull to be able to express your feelings and story with people that are going trhough the same problem.