This is kinda hard for me to do. I've never really talked to any one but my mom about this situation, because I feel like it's something I should deal with on my own. She suggested I try an online support group, so here I am. I'm 23 years old, and I've been in prison 3 times over the last 5 years. I started using crack cocaine in February of 2007. I was 3 months pregnant at the time. The guy I was with at the time was a pimp and a dope dealer, and he quickly had me strung out and prostituting. He soon went to jail, and I was alone again. I continued prostituting and getting high on crack cocaine until the day my daughter was born. I gave birth on July 24, 2007 at 9:17 am to a beautiful baby girl. My mom, grandma, and little sister were all there with me. Around 6 pm that same night, a nurse came in and took my daughter to "check her blood pressure." Two dhs workers and a police officer came in the room and served me with papers saying my daughter was being placed in emergency dhs custody. My aunt and uncle took my daughter in as kinship foster parents. I was still using drugs, and my uncle convinced me to sign away my rights so that he and my aunt could adopt the baby. They promised me they would never keep my daughter from me, and I would always be a part of her life. I went back to prison in December of 2007, and was released in August of 2009. I have been at home and sober for almost a year now, but still haven't gotten to see my daughter. My aunt and uncle refuse to talk to me. They won't even send me pictures of my baby. Tei'Arra just turned 3 this past month, and I haven't seen her since she was 5 months old. It gets really hard for me around her birthday every year, because I miss her so much. I don't know what to do, because sometimes I don't want to go on without her. I will never get another chance to be a mother, because my husband is 45 and refuses to have any more children. But what can I do to make this a little easier on me? Someone or anyone please help if you can.
Is there another way working through the system to be able to get supervised visitation in the future & ease the foster parents fears & your pain by slowly getting to know her again & showing them your a capable/reliable/responsible parent & have taken responsibility for your actions & are still getting some form of counseling/help/guidance for your past behaviors & for the good of a future w/your daughter????? If you do this then you will feel better about yourself too along the way so no one will fear you'll repeat past behavior.
April
You need an attorney. Sounds like you were forced to sign away your rights while still under the influence of drugs. I think that makes anything you signed null and void. You weren't in your 'right' mind. They won't let you vote if you're drunk. How can you be expected to make wise decisions only hours after the trauma of birth? You were coerced. Who represented YOUR rights? Did the hospital even give you a social worker to consult?
Find an attorney, honey. You've been through a lot. You probably went to prison a second time BECAUSE of the stress of losing your child. Addiction is a STRESS-induced disease. Mothers who lose their children always relapse. The court often threatens moms to stay sober or 'you'll lose your baby!' My GOD! that fear, alone, will make someone want a drink!
I don't like how you were ambushed in the hospital. That sounds absolutely horrifying. Unnecessary torture, if I ever heard it. You had to know they'd ck the baby for drugs; I'm sure you had an idea that "temporary" lose of parental care might be an issue, but....what they did to you? WRONG! Good luck, honey. Stay sober and 'they' can't make you look bad.