my daughter tried to over dose herself today, she did it when she knew there was nobody else in the house but then sent me text saying 'mum ive done something silly' we went home and phoned for an amulance she is now in hospital, i followed in my car and met them at the hospital only to be told by my daughter that she wanted her dad to go with her and not me, i was absolutely devastated.
Wow! I am so sorry to hear this. Is she ok? Do you know what triggered her to OD. ? I will be keeping you and you daughter in my pragers.
sweetie, as a teacher who works with teens with emotional and behavioral disorders it sounds like your daughter is trying to control you to get what she wants. You need to get your self strong too! You have a right to have a life during all of this! Find yourself a family therapist so that everyone is getting everything on the table together infront of one another- this is so important! It is Key! We are here for you! Your daughter is in my prayers. It doesn't sound as if she was serious, and I don;t mean disrespect. What did she take?
thankyou so much for ur comments! I don't know how my daughter is yet, my husband went to bring her home, musicspedmom, i try so hard to talk and reason with my daughter but she always ends up shouting at me, i told her this afternoon that me n dad deserve to have a life, she took 14 penicilin tablets and 3 naproxin tablets.
Hey juliecook1,
I am so so sorry about what has happened. I know this may be hard to take but please try not to take to heart what your daughter said. She is a mess right now, as I'm sure you are too. Remember that she did text you in that cry for help.
When she comes home just let her talk if she wants to, or just sit with ye and let her know that you are here for her. This attempt is a sign of deep emotional pain your daughter is suffering, and I would recommend she get therapy.
I know I've been in that dark dark place, and even though I didn't take the overdose, i wanted to and if I had gone any lower I would have. It's a very unloved, self hating place. So just make sure that she knows that you are open minded about this, you want her to talk about how she feeling, you are listening, you love her (and believe me as strange as this sounds even though we are supposed to logically know this we don't feel it) and let her know you are there for her. Take it very seriously.
You may need to also start reading on how to support yourself and your daughter through this, because not understanding is really difficult I know.
And sweetie, please try not to be offended by her wanting her dad to get her, there has been an unspoken distance between me and my father for years and it has only been since I started getting the help I so desperately needed that our relationship has strengthened, because he has realised how much I need him. I know this is bad now, but with work, this could be the start of a brand new chapter for everyone.
Love to you hun
Moongal x
thankyou moongal! I do take on board all advice given, i arranged for my daughter to visit our GP, before the appointment i asked her why we were goin to the docs n my reply was 'because you n dad want me to' i said that she should want to go for herself not to keep me n dad happy, anyway we got there, had a brief chat n the doctor referred her for councelling but these were done over the phone n now seem to have stopped for no apparent reason, i do listen to my daughter n want so much to help her but i don't seem to be making a good job me it!
Sweetie,
Believe me, None of this is your fault at all. So please try not to think that way. There are many many reasons why people want to hurt themselves, attempt suicide or feel depressed. The important thing is that you are trying and that is so fantastic.
She should probably start seeing a therapist one on one. it really does help. And it is a long long journey, and she herself probably has no idea why she feels how she feels. Just let her know that you are there and you are ready to listen, and you won't pass any judgements on her thoughts.
To give you an idea when I first speaking about how I felt, I told them - "I don't believe ye love me, I hate myself, I feel depressed, I'm a mess, I'm completely unloveable, I feel like an outsider, I'm such a burden on ye".
And to the receiver of these kind of comment it can kind of sound like she's talking nonesense, that's not true at all... so I got back in return was "don't be silly, of course we love you, what do you have to be depressed about?" "what can I say to you to make it better"
These kind of things can really stop a person wanting to talk, if you don't know what to say, just listen...with an open mind and heart. Because I'll be honest she's in a very dark place and she needs a safe place and you didn't cause this, but you can really help her.
There is no quick fix, but there is a light at the end of this.
Love to you
Moongal x
my daughter is ok! she and her dad spoke with a crisis team, she has ALOT of issues in her life one of which we hope she laid to rest first thing this morning, i told her i want to help her but don't know what to do, she has also been told that the councelling sessions that our GP referred her for were not suitable for her needs but they didn't explain this to her they just did not bother contacting her again, she told her dad last night that she wants a cuddle from her mum, i have tried to cuddle her! after the visit to the GP i felt loads better n thought that my daughter would too so i put my arm around her n asked her how she felt, she told me not to touch her, that was like been punched in the stomach to me, now i think i'm too frightened to get close to her.
Hey Julie,
I am sorry how your daughter reacted, I know this may sound odd, but she was telling her father the truth and she did want that cuddle from you, but for some reason there is a wall up there between the two of you and she probably felt very embarrased about it, she also sounds like she is dealing with some anger.
This will take a while but bare with her, she obviously has a longing to get closer to you, she text you after she took the overdose, and she said she wants to be cuddled by you…you seem like such a wonderful mum so I’m afraid at this moment you will have to remain patient with her and just keep that communication open.
I am shocked that the therapy place she was in contact with did not refer her to some where else, that was very bad practise.
So how are you feeling today?
Love to you
Moongal x
Julie, I have three teenagers plus a couple, and I work with kids. If there is one thing I have learned and have taken to heart is that when you are dealing with kids you have to have respect for them as you would any other person Especially teenagers! And I know this might sound backwards but as the adult you know how, and have to be the stronger person and show that respect first, before you can get it from your child. That doesn't mean you ignore safety issues or keep a blind eye to things. But I feel that if I want to get anywhere with my kids I have to treat them as I would anyother person. They are just learning. Even you daughter at this point. (aren't we all still learning). The easiest way for me to make this relatively brief is to explain it this way. I feel my job as a parent is not to punish and preach, but to respect and teach. If you take a step back and look at everything we say to our kids when they are misbehaving and we are digusted and yelling. Absolutely everythingwe say can be redirected calmly in a teaching approach. Try to catch your self when you are talking to your daughter. And this is how I do this. First I remind myself to respect them as I would anyone else, and then I don't just tell them what I think the issues are and how to fix them but I pick that information apart and try go further. I explain all of my rationales, I walk through my own thought processes with them so they might actually get the whole thing and not just the conclusion we are expecting from them. You have to be honest. And not just with the things we think are appropriate for them to hear. They know and understand so much more than we tend to gve them credit for! Think back really hard to when you were her age. We all thought we could have made it on our own so much better back then. Tell her the things you may not really think you want her to hear. She needs to realize that you are just like anyone else. Just like her. Another person fighting the same battles just in different circumstances. It is NOT easy to do that and keep your cool, and it might take a while but keep those points in mind each time you attempt to dicipline her. When she begins to see you as a person (and not just 'mom'), and she begins to see the respect you give her, she will begin to reciprocate that. It's not easy do to all of that. And by no means am I suggesting you treat your children as friends instead of children. It is a fine line. I know that. But be persistant! And if you take this to heart and give it a try, elplain that to her, explain why and how you drew the conclusions you did to take the steps you are taking. First and foremost when dealing with kids is that they only know what they are taught. And as A parent I know we are just trying to get them to the best place we can. But they won't understand that, they can't... They haven't been there yet. I have dealt with years of cutting school and failing grades, threatening their siblings' lives, lighting fires and smoking weed in the woods (I have threatened to drag him to a rehab, but if you think about it wouldn't you do that for your husband or a friend too? And I explained THAT to him). I have never grounded my kids, I have never taken things away as punishment. The persistance pays off. (along with detailed explainations of legal consequences and how I don't have the money to bail them out of jail, so as sorry as I might be, I would have to leave them there! Be digustingly honest but have respect.). I now have one that works almost 60 hour a week and will be attneding college next year (he took a year off and realized he should), one that works 20+ hours a week and commutes to a college he pays for himself (he won't leave), and another that gets himself up and takes an hours worth of public transportation to get to highschool. The last brought me his report card with all A's and B's! Go figure!
Be patient, Be honest, and have that respect! It can work out.
I am so sorry to hear that but I am glad she is ok. Has anyone considered that she might have a personality disorder? I have Borderline Personality Disorder and I remember always demanding things from my mom, reminding her about how flawed I thought she was and no matter how hard she tried to make me happy I never felt like her efforts were good enough. I was a terrible daughter and she didn't deserve half of what I put her through. Musicspedmom mention that she thought your daughter is trying to control you and if she does have a personality disorder I would agree but that would not be exactly accurate. It would be more of a desperate cry for help and attention and love and guidance. Only therapy can help in this case I believe. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.