I really really hate being alone! it drives me insane only because im insecure with myself, and i have low self esteem, and have lost self love for myself. But i dont know how to get it back? I dont trust anyone, not even my own self. !
You should trust God and ask Him for help and guidance. Start slowly, there are a lot of good and decent people. Only time will show you who deserves your trust. Wishing you all the happiness. God bless you.
Brianna, I have been there, too. It SUCKS! One way I try to cope is distracting myself with tv, or a video game, or going out for a while. It helps me to get out of my immediate funk and let me regroup until I get into a better frame of mind to deal with what caused the problem.
When I am alone (which is hard in a household with 4 other people, but happens pretty often) and I can't take it any more, I put on my favorite "cry it out" playlist on my mp3 or computer or phone and just cry it out for a while. It took me years of therapy to really see it is OK to cry. It is OK to feel badly. It is OK to be mad. Make the time to sort out your feelings for what they are and come to grips with them.
Mt therapist-approved method to dealing with being alone when I can't is to avoid the "alone-ness" by putting in my favorite movie. I watch it and fall asleep while my mind is distracted and sleep it off. Then I cry it out (can be later that day or even the next day or whenever, but I cry to get it out). After I cry it out, I can usually see what triggered the issues to starts and can deal with them.
I an not religious so I don't "leave it to God" like my therapist told me to do, but I leave it to myself for when I can deal with it. I journal and go over things in my mind again and again....
Best wishes! I hope you can get through this time quickly!!!
I was diagnosed bi-polar in 1999.....