I have been doing **** good the past 'round two weeks, but about four days ago my face start to break out and I just.. couldn't help myself again..
At first it was just the ones that were ready, then it was picking their scabs, now I've moved on back to trying to dig out blackheads that are imbeded layers and layers under the skin..
I now have a little crater almost in the middle of my forehead and it bled and bled!
I think I got all the pus out finally though, that one has been bothering me for over a week now! >.<
I was trying so hard not to pick any, then not to do much damage on that one, but I couldn't help it!
After about 10 minutes of picking I finally pulled myself away which doesn't sound like a long time for picking but it really is.
I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else is having trouble lately also?
I don't want any tips to be honest, 'cause I'm getting out of the heavy picking part of the cycle and attending DBT classes so I'm doing VERY VERY well!
I WOULD like to hear some expirences though, and if anyone has gotten worse/better or ANYTHING!!
InnocentKenya ... I wish I could say that I understand what it is you are going through with the picking, but I don't.
I do understand all about self injury if that helps.
And, yes, people have gotten better in time. It personally took me some time to understand it, stop and have the resources to deal with it the next time. Now, I don’t act upon those urges like I use too.
You will definitely find others out there with similar stories like yours.
i understand completely with the picking. When i'm doing good..as in not cutting or scratching, i pick and pick at my face..my arms. It's awful. I know it's hard to stop and it's easy to rationalize because you are picking at blackheads and such...but i leave scars sometimes from digging on my face and arms. This is not a healthy alnertative to self harm, because in a way it is in it's self. Message me if you ever want to talk. I do understand though and i hope things get better for you.
I have severe Dermatillomania too, whenever i get the urge i pick at my face back chest shoulders legs nails head whatever i can get my hands on. I also have tryed to stop but i cannot the longest i have gone without picking is a day and thats it. I understand what your going through and also wish to find help.
I have never heard of picking. Is it a form of self harm? I cut which is why i was wondering. Im not looking for a different form of self harm so i hope thats not what you are thinking! Anytime you need some support or someone to talk to, im here! Just message me! :)
it got way worse when i stopped cutting...picking, scratching...i never new there was an actuall name for it though. I don't know if this is too much information, but sometimes when i really feel like cutting, scratching, or picking, i start pulling pubic hairs out with tweezers...it helps me sometimes. i don't know. maybe that's weird.
Rebekah- I know that i cut to feel a release of pain, the deeper i cut the better i feel, so maybe thats why you pull the pubic hairs out, because it would hurt worse than like, your leg hair or something? Idk, Just a thought! I've never heard of it before.
yeah..it's hard...because so much of it isn't just about the pain, but the blood. I'm in the process of trying to find other ways to deal with things. pulling out pubic hairs does hurt a lot worse and that's why i do it, but it's still not the same release...it does help though. I don't know..picking,scratching,cutting. It sounds like we all need some help to try to give these up.
I don't want my kid (if by chance i had one, not planning to) one day asking me why i have these scars all over my body. i wouldn't know what to say.
Rebekah-
I get asked all the time about my scars, and its hard to make up excuses why i have them and i dont want my future children to ask me about them either. I've decided Im not goin to have children. Not because I dont want to, but because my genetics basically suck and I dont want to pass down to them what is wrong with me, ya know? Its a hard decision and my boyfriend doesn't support it but theres always adoption. Im just scared I wouldn't love those kids the same.
thats exactly how i feel. I've decided that if i have any kids i will adopt. My genes suck hardcore. And i'm on so much medication just to keep me stable. I would have to get off them because there is a high chance of birth defects and problems with the babies that are born while there mother was on these drugs. I could never live with myself if my baby had some kind of deforminty or mental illness because of me. And i don't think i could go nine months without any medication. It would be so hard...i would be so crazy..so yeah. No having babies for me either. Adoption is only an option if i know that i am stable enough to take on the responsibility of raising a child. At this point, i'm not.
I know what ya mean, I can't be off my meda for nine months and idk that I'll ever be mentally ready to have a kid. My boyfriend and I take every precaution to make sure there's no accidents!!!
I know what you are going thru. I believe i have Dermotillomania as well. I have had this ever since i got the chicken pox when i was little. It is so hard to break and my arms are so ugly and have mulitiple scars all over them along with my legs. I have been thinking about getting profesional help because I do not want this disease to take over and ruin my life, and i know that if i dont get help it will get even worse then it already is. I am thnkful for a support group like this because i am a shamed to tell anyone about my problem becuase i am affraid they will judge me based on that. thanks for letting me read your stories and i hope we will all be able to over come this disease.
heyy. totally understand the picking thing. i have been picking at my cuticals and nails since i was about 3/4 yrs old. i am now 21... still pick (also scabs. and a *recovered* cutter.. have not yet found help for this issue.
i understand that is a type of OCD kinda for me... and a form of self injury.
When i start picking i keep thinking i need to "fix" something about my nails/cuticals and boom.... i can't stop picking until the blood comes...and my fingers are swollen red and sore.
Horrid problem i have.
I'm sorry you all have to put up w/ it!
Thanks Amanda I sure hope that it will help me. Im only 19 and have had this problem for about 11-12 years and never tried to get help cause i thought i could do it on my own. So i would try and fail time and time again. I want to be able to live a life style where it does not consume my life and I am affraid that one day when i have kids they will inherit this from me and I dont want that at all.I guess this is just my form of addiction just like there are alcholics and people who cant control what they do. I am done with this disease and it time for it to be kicked to the curb =)
I have this too I think. Although it hasn't been medically diagnosed, I seem to can't stop picking at my arms, legs, chest, and back. I'm riddled with scars almost EVERYWHERE. I never really had a black head problem but it was the acne that killed me. I had cystic acne on my body and it would just get worse and worse. Nothing seemed to work at all.
The cystic acne went away with heavy antibiotics and a skin peel, but I still have scars and small bumps that I pick at. It starts with one and then you don't realize you do it until your body is all red. :(
It's like right before and right after I shower I do it. I feel really guilty about it since I did so much to try and stop it, but just couldn't. It stays red for a long time and I have to wear sweatshirts and long sleeves everywhere I go... It's a horrible reminder...