For the past two weeks I have struggled greatly. Emotionally I have been a mess and I have been restricting.
I don't dream often, but last night I did for the first time in a while. I had a dream where I was living with my boyfriend, married. It was about 6 years from now. I was pregnant and so happy and excited. We were really happy.
I woke up wanting this to happen more than ever. I want that future. I want happiness. I want mike forever. I want children. And what I am doing to my body isn't going to get me any of these things.
I have to commit. I have to stop counting everything I eat. I have to actually eat fat instead of avoiding it. I have to eat more. I need to do this for myself, for mike, and for my future. Its not going to be easy- it never is. I need to work with my outpatient team instead of fighting against them. I need to learn to accept this body I have.
I am going to take it one step at a time. Eat a bit more each day. I can do this. I have to do this. I need to do this. :) I love the days when I actually see the light
Good for you allee. I know it's hard but think of those beautiful children you will have one day!!!! I agree that you should start really focusing on what your team has to say. They are there to help and support you, and on this site we are all here to support you. I am sorry I haven't posted much as I feel I personally am not getting any feedback anymore...but I am totally willing to help everyone out!!!! Message me on those days where you want to avoid food or overdo it. I am here to listen and tell you it's going to be okay. Be safe and stay strong!!
i want that too allee. i think most people want to see into the future and want and strieve for things. but im so proud of you for seeing the light and looking on the positive side of things. u deserve the happiness.
nice going allee i believe in premonitions and if you do this, maybe this was yours. a wonderful outlook and future of what could be and even what will be. i find that if i am lucky enough to see into my future it helps me understand why i'm going through everything. keeping that image in my mind and in my heart that i am going to succeed and you are going to as well you saw it happening! that's just wonderful